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Imagine doing a job where people constantly tell you that you are ugly. Imagine them screaming that you are bad at what you do, that you are not thin enough, that your clothes are horrible, and you deserve to die. Imagine that all of this takes place not only during office hours, but throughout the day, every day. Throughout all of this, you have to keep smiling and get the job done because, hey, it’s part of the job.
When, in 2019, singer Jesy Nelson appeared in the BBC Three documentary The one that doesn’t fit, we got a glimpse of life in a hugely successful pop group. Her decision to speak out about what she had endured from online trolls was brave and, she hoped, would improve life, taking the power away from those who sought to bring her down. But despite his best efforts, it didn’t work out that way. This week, Nelson announced his departure from Little Mix, the multi-million dollar band formed in 2011 in The X factor. Nelson cited the “constant pressure” to be in the public eye and the “price” on his mental health. The announcement comes a month after she revealed that she was taking time off from the group for “private medical reasons.” The remaining members of the band, Jade Thirlwall, Leigh-Anne Pinnock and Perrie Edwards, have been quick and sincere in their encouragement, noting that this is “an incredibly sad time for all of us, but we fully support Jesy. We love her very much and we agree that it is very important that she do the right thing for her mental health and well-being. “
Last year, I interviewed Little Mix to The independent and they were delicious. When the four of them were squeezed into a loveseat at their record company headquarters, I saw a band that was extremely protective of each other. They spoke of coming together in the strange circumstances of the group’s creation and of the “Little Mix wall” behind which to share their anxieties. “We support each other,” they said. But still, his wall failed to protect Nelson from the barrage of cruelty, which focused almost exclusively on his appearance.
In many ways, Little Mix were the canaries of the coal mine. They were the first successful girl group to grow up not only on television but also on social media. On the one hand, it helped them connect directly with fans and control how they were perceived by the public. But on the other hand, it opened the band, and Nelson in particular, to abuse and misogyny on an industrial scale.
When she started, she was 20 years old, a baby in terms of career, and a young woman still trying to find her place and identity in the world. Nelson, a former waitress from Dagenham in Essex, had apparently achieved her dreams in The X factor, joining a band alongside three talented and like-minded women. But over the course of nine years, the dream turned into a nightmare as the negative comments kept pouring in, online and in the press (Piers Morgan and Katie Hopkins are among those who have publicly accused her). Her self-confidence soon eroded and she began to believe in the insults. She became distraught over her appearance and developed an eating disorder. His mom saw what was happening to him and cried. In the film, Nelson revealed that he had attempted suicide.
Little Mix formed on ‘The X Factor’ in 2011
(Jeff Spicer / Getty Images)
There is a terrible inevitability in all this. The looks of female pop stars are still a depressing measure of their worth; they are seen first as bodies, then as musicians. If you think things have improved thanks to the increase in the female presence in the last 20 years, think again. See the glee with which grimy online trolls shared a photo of Billie Eilish recently, criticizing her appearance. Last year, Eilish said her decision to wear baggy clothes was related to a desire not to be sexualized or judged. “No one can have an opinion because they haven’t seen what’s underneath, you know?” she said. She’s 18 years old.
In Nelson’s case, combine this already toxic urge to make physical judgments with reality television, a medium that has produced a desperate succession of victims catapulted into public view with little or no attention paid to their well-being, and you have the most egregious case of negligence.
To put it in the most basic terms, a young woman has been expelled from her job. What’s more, while doing her job, she felt seriously ill. In other professions, there are procedures and departments dedicated to dealing with these matters; there is a potential resource and a duty of care. But recent history has shown that this rarely happens in the entertainment business, and when it does, it is the exception rather than the rule. When a woman becomes famous, it is accepted that abuse comes with the territory and is a price worth paying. Nelson has become collateral damage in an industry that still refuses to care for its own. This must end.
If you are experiencing feelings of distress and isolation, or are struggling to cope, The Samaritans offers support; You can speak to someone free of charge by phone, in confidence, at 116 123 (UK and ROI), email [email protected] or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch.
