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ORSometimes he wonders if Boris Johnson knows that British television can be seen in Europe. Whether the prime minister was preparing for one of the biggest escalations, even by his own standards, in modern political history or his dinner on Wednesday night with EU commission chair Ursula von der Leyen, it will be one of the most important. shortest recorded. With awkward silences on that, as the EU seems in no mood to give in. Maybe Von der Leyen should rethink the menu and go for chicken nuggets and fries so Boris can catch a flight home earlier. Because at this rate, a no-deal Brexit seems like a certainty.
The tone had been set right at the start of the prime minister’s questions with Johnson’s response to conservative and veteran Brexit supporter Edward Leigh on the possibilities of a trade deal. Boris didn’t even try to moderate his language. Not a word about how far the two sides had come in the negotiation, just straight to the jugular about how the EU was trying to punish the UK and what if we didn’t get what we wanted in terms of fishing rights, sovereignty and equality conditions, then it could be filled. “We will prosper enormously” if we leave without a deal, he said. Leigh looked beside herself with pleasure. Another 2% drop in GDP was what he had always wanted. The orgasm that would make the four years of Tantric Sexit worth it.
Brexit was also on Keir Starmer’s mind, as the Labor leader reviewed some of Johnson’s previous convictions. The oven-ready deal that was the complete opposite. His promise that the chances of a no-deal Brexit were nil. His September statement that leaving without a deal would be a failure of statecraft. Was there something else he had forgotten that Boris wanted to add to the charge sheet?
Johnson just smirked, tugged at his hair, and began improvising. It was good to hear Starmer speak from Islington, “his spiritual home,” where he isolated himself. Keir corrected him: it was actually Camden. Although he could have pointed out that Islington had been Boris’s home until a year ago, when he was finally kicked out after one too many adventure.
Having cleared that up, Boris repeated the “ready for the oven” nonsense that only applies to the withdrawal agreement, before repeating “prosper mightily”. His phrase of the day. Along with “delphic”. Over and over again he accused Starmer of delphic silence on Brexit. Again, Starmer lost a bit of a gimmick, as what we’ve gotten from Johnson is Delphic white noise. Lots of words spilled out in no particular order and all equally meaningless.
Perhaps the height of the folly was Johnson’s observation that Labor had yet to say whether it would support a deal. Boris seemed to have escaped that the only reason the negotiations were continuing was that there was no agreement to support. Still, Starmer came closer than ever to saying that he would back any trash deal over none. Especially since Conservatives might need opposition votes if hardliners of Brexit clamored for “treason” and chose to rebel against the government. Then Johnson’s days would really be numbered.
Next was Michael Gove to explain how the government would now sign the Northern Ireland protocols, which it had negotiated and signed in the withdrawal agreement less than a year ago. Being the Governor, Westminster’s greatest shifter, and a far more accomplished liar than Boris will ever be, he managed to make this sound like a grand triumph of diplomacy on his part, rather than a decision not to violate international law. A negotiation in which both had managed to trick the EU into not building a mini-embassy in Northern Ireland and restricting them to having 15 observers spread across the country telling UK customs officials what to do and securing periods of grace up to six. months for some goods to maintain supply lines and ensure that no one dies of hunger.
It’s a tough job to follow Gove because the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster manages to mix up so many falsehoods and half-truths, along with some connected sentences that may be factually correct, that it’s hard to know where to start. With the truths that may mean nothing or the lies that hide reality. Labor Rachel Reeves chose to hedge her bets and not get caught in a semantic battle in which there would be no winners. Rather, he tried to stick to known knowledge. That a three month grace period was not that long and how many UK customs officers he had managed to recruit.
Inevitably, the governor avoided answering those questions, although he confirmed to Bernard Jenkin that, under the new regime, parts of Northern Ireland would continue to be covered by the EU “acquis” and subject to the jurisdiction of the European court of law. However, he somehow managed to convince Jenkin, along with Richard Drax, who asked a similar question, that this was a victory for the UK and not a concession that we had agreed to a year ago, as they both sat looking like reasonably satisfied with the answer. . If it had been anyone but Gove, they would have been spitting blood.
Gove’s ability for mendacity reached its zenith in response to a question from Ben Bradshaw of Labor. When he said that UK citizens could still participate in the Erasmus program, he meant that students who are currently on the course will not be lost. And when he said that British citizens could still qualify for EU health care, he had only been talking about those still living in the EU. One wonders what lies the governor has to tell himself to allow him to sleep at night.
Still, at least Gove had finally come to terms that the UK would do what it had already said it would do. The more pressing question was whether Johnson would do what was best for the country or what was best for his position in the Conservative party. We will need an answer to that in a matter of days.
