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A Boris Johnson on his own is generally a Boris Johnson in bad company. With no one to curb his narcissism, megalomania, and priapism, there is nothing between him and his own self-destruction.
On the bright side, though, his time in self-isolation frees him up to play with his toys and keeps him away from all the parts of work he dislikes the most: having to meet with secondary MPs whose names he has no intention of remembering, or getting on. to the car to go to parliament for questions from a prime minister where he is almost certain to come second, for example.
When Keir Starmer was recently forced into isolation, there was no suggestion that the Labor leader be allowed to ask his questions remotely. But in a matter of weeks, Jacob Rees-Mogg and parliamentary authorities have caught up on the realities of 2020, so this session was the first time a prime minister was allowed to answer questions via video link. .
Not that number 10 seemed to have given much thought to what it would look like. Boris appeared in front of a hastily constructed Downing Street backdrop in what sounded like an echoing basement, either that or no one had thought to provide wrinkled Boris with a microphone and he had to settle for his son’s baby alarm. Wilf. Whatever it is, I’ve seen hostage videos with more professional shots.
What had promised to be a historic moment delivered few highlights. Without an audience, however small, to touch, Johnson did not wave his arm or his will. Rather, he sat through the whole thing, looking rather bored, with his hands clasped on the table in front of him.
Starmer also seemed as if his mind was elsewhere. Although in his case, it almost certainly had nothing to do with him adapting to fight with a screen. The Labor leader has a much tougher fight on his hands at the moment, with the party’s NEC reinstating Jeremy Corbyn as a member and Starmer standing his ground by refusing to reinstall the whip.
So it felt a lot like a PMQ in numbers. A collection of greatest hits, rather than a sustained series of questions that turn into a deadly stiletto. Starmer got off to a good start, pointing to Johnson’s idiocy on Monday night in which he had described the Scottish recall as a disaster for a group of Conservative MPs at Zoom. Did you stick to those comments? Johnson naturally sidestepped the question, choosing instead to write off the Scottish National Party for ruining the return for everyone.
It does not seem that it has occurred to him that the reason the SNP is in power is that they have been democratically elected. Nor is it that most Scots want to stay in the EU and are bothered by England and Wales getting them out of it. Every time you open your mouth, you add a few percentage points to the cause of the SNP. Or tens of percentage points if your math is as good as Toby Young’s.
Starmer left it at that, as Labor has as little interest in breaking the union as the Conservatives and went on to support payouts for those asked to isolate themselves. Was it a surprise that only 11% of people bothered to stay home when asked to get by on £ 95 or £ 135 per week? Dominic Cummings’ champagne bill on a Friday night after being fired.
Johnson followed the moves of pretending that Labor had just joined with the NHS test and trace before Starmer reminded him that the latest government lockdown had been won by Labor votes.
The last two questions in the National Audit Office report on cronyism and lack of oversight in awarding PPE contracts were by far the most illuminating. For the first time, Johnson seemed vaguely nervous and twice resorted to calling the Labor leader “Captain Hindsight,” a sure sign that he had lost the argument. It has been very difficult at the beginning of the pandemic, he said, and there has been a huge shortage of PPE.
So just thanks to Conservative ministers and MPs who came in with names of friends of friends who could help for a few million sweetener, the country had been saved. If only Labor MPs had shown an equal willingness to compromise their ethics and find some suppliers that couldn’t supply usable equipment, then the UK could have survived the pandemic more successfully.
And that was more or less that. A largely bloodless encounter between two leaders, who seemed relieved to have passed the session largely intact.
So for once it was the deputies’ questions that were the most illuminating. The prime minister made no commitment that the government’s contribution to foreign aid would remain at 0.7% and had absolutely no answer as to why the UK had the highest number of coronavirus deaths in Europe and the deepest recession. in all G7 countries. A look in the mirror could provide some clues. But then he would have to live with the post-traumatic stress disorder that the rest of us suffer from on a daily basis.
There were also potentially uncomfortable questions from two Scottish Conservative MPs. But they didn’t mean to catch him for his comments on the Scottish take-back – they were there to extort money with threats in exchange for not mentioning the take-back fiasco.
Douglas Ross said he was grateful for the money Moray received, but that it would be nice if it could be phased out in less than 15 years. Johnson nodded enthusiastically. As he did when John Lamont raised the issue of whiskey tariffs. The checks were already in the mail.
