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meI made a change to break the horrors of the coronavirus. Even if it was only for an hour. The downside was that we got the horrors of Michael Gove giving a Commons statement on Brexit. And like almost all the actions of the Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster, it was carried out without sincerity.
At least with Boris Johnson you have the feeling that his past is catching up with him and his falsehoods are beginning to affect his physical and mental well-being. Gove seems to have no trace of shame. For him, politics is just a theater in which truth and lies are interchangeable, and he retains an outward appearance in which excessive politeness is nothing more than a facade for outright contempt. He is the original tabula rasa: every day, or even several times a day, he is the chameleon who reinterprets himself according to his surroundings. Your mistakes are not only forgiven, they are erased from memory.
Gove began with a rehash of the Prime Minister’s Brexit summary from last Friday. The EU had shown bad faith by not spending all its free time committing to Boris’s three missed deadlines to reach an agreement before the end of the year; They apparently selfishly wanted one day off a week to carry on other businesses, like managing a global pandemic, and so unless Michel Barnier agreed to whatever we wanted, we were inexorably headed for no deal.
Or an “Australian-style” deal, as he called it. Mikey has yet to realize that even Australians want more than the deal currently offered with the EU. But don’t be afraid. “I’m not happy or indifferent,” he said. Sometimes a politician’s lack of awareness is impressive. According to the governor, 10 weeks was more than enough time for all those companies that were not desperately prepared for a no-deal Brexit to put in place all the systems they needed in case the too thinkable became a reality.
In her response, Rachel Reeves of Labor openly mocked Gove for his shamelessness. Johnson’s promise that he had a “ready to go” deal. Mikey’s own insistence for four years that a deal between the EU and the UK would be “the easiest in human history” and that “the UK had all the cards.” It was a shame they were all two and three. But Gove looked confused. None of this computed. Because in the Mikey world none of this had happened, despite the video evidence.
Now was the time to stop posing. If anyone was guilty in bad faith, it was the UK for planning to violate international law and reneging on the withdrawal agreement that we had signed less than 10 months earlier. A no-deal Brexit would mean 10% tariffs on UK cars and 40% tariffs on lamb. Was that what the government wanted? And talking about no-deal preparations was just wishful thinking, as most companies had no idea what exactly they should be preparing for.
Even Theresa May couldn’t resist putting the boot on, as she highlighted the dangers that no deal posed to police and national security. Now the governor simply began to blatantly lie, insisting that we could not register with the European court of justice under any circumstances and that it would probably be better not to rely on European criminal agencies. May looked suitably puzzled and exclaimed, “What?” She must be bitterly regretting once saying that no deal was better than bad deal. Because even she can now see that it really isn’t.
Next to be ashamed was Iain Duncan Smith, who despite recently admitting that no one had understood why they were voting on the withdrawal agreement, was adamant that the agreement was perfectly clear and that it was time for the EU to start negotiate in good faith. Fortunately for IDS, before anyone had time to pull the bones out of their latest self-inflicted idiocy, Gove received the explosive news that everything he had said so far was a complete doggybollox and that the EU was now ready to negotiate legality. texts. It was as if Mikey had spent the first 30 minutes acting like Julius Caesar and during the interval he had switched to The Comedy of Errors.
Since all politics is simply theater for Gove, he made the transition smoothly. No one could be more excited than him that the EU had made sense, and he hoped they would give in to all our demands for fishing quotas, state aid and a level playing field. But I hoped they were serious this time. Once again, the lack of self-awareness was overwhelming. But conservative Philip Hollobone: what has Kettering done to deserve a weaker MP? – took it seriously and demanded that the Royal Navy be available to blow any French fishing boat out of the water. The governor pleased him by promising him lethal force.
Thereafter, the session sold out. Several opposition MPs wanted to know how the Farage garages, the truck parks in Kent now crammed with urine bottles because there are no toilets, were progressing, along with the hiring of the 50,000 new customs officers that would be needed. Mikey just left those questions blank. He wasn’t here to talk about trouble, he was here to sound vaguely threatening to Johnny Foreigner. The entire play had been simply a sham. A stand.
Because everyone knew how the comedy would end. The UK couldn’t afford a no-deal on top of the economic damage from the coronavirus pandemic. So the EU would give a little and the UK would give a lot and some kind of deal would be negotiated that Boris had always insisted they would never agree to. And the governor would be the first to stand in the Commons to declare a government trump deal – the deal that was noticeably worse than what had been offered under the Maybot. What’s more, you might even believe it.
