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Sometimes whether I love him or hate him, Donald Trump says what we’re all thinking.
When asked about Meghan Markle telling people to effectively vote against her in the upcoming US election, the president replied, ‘I’m not a fan of her …’
Then he paused to think, smiled ruefully and added, ‘I wish Harry the best of luck … because he’s going to need it.’
No one has been a fiercer critic of Trump this year for his lamentable handling of the coronavirus pandemic, but I laughed when I saw him say this.
His makeshift zinger summed up so perfectly how most of the world now sees the increasingly ridiculous Duke and Duchess of Sussex whose stupendous egos, to borrow a line from one of my favorite Top Gun movies, are now writing checks with their titles. and the authorized bodies will find it very impossible to collect.
As part of their $ 150 million Netflix production deal, Meghan Markle and Prince Harry agreed to star in a reality series with cameras following them around for three months.
For a while now, I’ve been suggesting that Meghan Markle and her puppet, Prince Harry, are behaving like a royal version of the Kardashians.
In other words, a pair of ridiculously hypocritical narcissists constantly seeking attention at war with their families.
Now, in a fun way, we find out that they actually WILL be the new Kardashians.
As soon as Kim and the girls announced that they were going to abandon their disgustingly empty reality TV show, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex showed up to replace them with their own.
As part of their $ 150 million Netflix production deal, they reportedly agreed to star in a reality series with cameras that followed them everywhere for three months.
Of course, this extraordinary invasion of their own privacy is exactly what they said they were leaving Britain to escape.
Meghan (pictured Sept. 23), who was starring in the legal drama Suits when she met Harry, is said to have made it clear that she has no plans to act again.
But such astonishingly two-faced behavior has never bothered Meghan and Harry, who did not think to lecture us on our carbon footprints while using Sir Elton John’s private jet for taxi service or preaching about poverty on the same day that Meghan was enjoying a $ 500,000 baby. shower party in New York.
They told us that the new show ‘will be very tasteful’ and that the couple are willing to ‘give people a glimpse into their lives and see all the charity work they are doing.’
Apparently, Meghan is especially interested in the public seeing her “royal.”
Obviously, some of us who knew her before she sank her claws into poor Harry know exactly who the “ royal ” Meghan Markle is: a surprisingly ruthless work of social climbing poised to shed anything in her desperate craving for quantities. growing in fame and fortune.
So it will be a lot of fun to watch her try to further trick the eyes with her new show.
To give you an idea of what’s to come, I’ve taken a look into the future and may reveal a few details from their eight-part reality series, Keeping Up With The Sussexes.
Episode One: MURDER AT MARKLE MANSIONS The series begins in a shocking way when a body is seen floating in the pool of the palatial house of Santa Barbara of the Sussexes. A closer inspection reveals that it is Jessica Mulroney, Meghan’s former best friend, who was misled for being a racist but remains the guardian of all her harmful secrets. Jessica has a pair of Aquazzura stilettos on her back, very similar to the ones Meghan wears frequently, and she appears to be dead. But when the princess, who is suspiciously barefoot when the police arrive, insists she had nothing to do with the incident, Jessica suddenly sits bolt upright and throws water. Still alive! Meghan turns pale and is seen urgently whispering to Harry, ‘We’re so, like, screwed up. Call Oprah.
Episode Two: THE CAMBRIDGES ARRIVE IN CALIFORNIA In an attempt to reestablish relations with William and Kate, Harry invites his brother to bring his wife and children to stay with them. The trip does not go well. During a terribly tense vegan dinner, in which each guest is assigned a non-alcoholic beer to accompany their Kale, Black Bean and Avocado Burrito Bowl, William politely suggests that Harry stop talking about American politics, Harry punches him in the face and yells, “Don’t you get it, my Megs is going to be PRESIDENT?” William dusts himself off and scornfully replies, “From what, the Santa Barbara Wimmin Wokery Club?”
Meghan Markle and Prince Harry take a photo with Archie in September 2019
Episode Three: ALL ABOUT ARCHIE To show how much they want to protect their young son’s privacy, Meghan and Harry put on an entire show for him. She reads Archie books, including George Orwell’s Animal Farm, but adds a modern, bright interpretation. “All non-binary animals are the same,” he explains, “but some are more equal than others, although obviously none will be as equal as us.” Harry then takes Archie hunting … bees. “We need millions of them to pollinate all of Mom’s avocados and almonds.” Archie is puzzled. ‘Do they die doing that?’ he asks. Harry nods. ‘Yes, a lot of them do, son, but it’s all for a good cause: Mom’s eco-warrior alarm clock credentials!’
Episode Four: LIFE IS A BEACH Meghan and Harry take the cameras to the beautiful sun-kissed sands of Santa Barbara, where they interview a group of starving homeless people brought there by their production crew. ‘Ma’am,’ one says to Meghan, ‘Please help me, I haven’t eaten in a week.’ She turns to him sternly and replies, “Well, you must do your best!” The bewildered man tries to hug her, but Meghan recoils in horror and yells’ NO! COVID-19! Ugh! Harry, horrified, quietly reminds her that her mother Diana once hugged AIDS and leprosy patients. “If you think I’m risking my $ 5 million Chanel endorsement deal,” she retorted angrily, “you’re even stupider than I think you are.”
Episode Five: DAD’S HOUSE Meghan’s father, Thomas, is a surprise visitor to Markle Mansions and begs to be let in to talk to his daughter. “There’s no chance,” says Harry. You are bad for our brand. Thomas is puzzled. “But I thought your brand was about being incredibly kind, compassionate, and caring to everyone?” “It is,” Harry replied, “but that does not include our families or any friends who cannot help us achieve world domination.”
Prince Charles, Prince William, Kate, Meghan and Harry at Sandringham in December 2018
Episode Six: INFLAGRANT WITH KANYE Kim Kardashian invites her ‘spirit animal’ Meghan to her Los Angeles home for the weekend to give her advice on how to earn billions of dollars by fleecing audiences with expensive fashion and beauty lines. But in a shocking development, Kim goes out for some ‘comfortable shopping’ on Rodeo Drive and returns early to find Kanye and Meghan in bed together, both in pro-Trump MAGA caps, as Kanye sings his smash hit Gold Digger. ‘What will Harry say?’ yells Kim. “She’ll say everything I tell her, like always,” laughs Meghan.
Episode Seven: QUEEN OF THE CASTLE In an attempt to fix their marriage, the Sussexes fly to Scotland to spend “quality time” with the Queen and Prince Philip at Balmoral Castle. They end up spending exactly three minutes and 23 seconds, long enough for Meghan to describe how she sees Phase Two of the Monarchy’s awakened evolution, which involves her replacing Her Majesty as Queen, before Philip explodes and yells, ‘Oh, shut up. , complaints misled by would-be Wallis Simpson.
Episode Eight: THE GREAT ESCAPE In a moving denouement of the first series, the exhausted and beleaguered Prince escapes from the Markle mansions in a nightly rescue operation organized by his former best friends Guy Pelly and Tom Inskip, whom he had been disowned by Meghan once they married. They take you by helicopter to Las Vegas for a riotous night of the ‘good old days’ of drinking booze, swallowing meat, playing naked pool and chatting with silly blonde models. The show ends with Harry running through the Bellagio fountains singing Beyoncé’s song Freedom: ‘Freedom! Freedom! I can not move! Freedom, let go of me! Freedom! Freedom! Where are you? Because I need freedom too! When the end credits roll, the cameras roll back to Markle Mansions, where Meghan is charging across the grounds armed with a butcher knife yelling, ‘NOBODY LEAVES ME! I AM THE DUMPER!
