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Pope Francis (83) had to call Andrea Rubera (54) three times. Then the father of the family finally answered. “He called me from an anonymous number, I let the bell ring. But when he spoke, I had no doubt that it was him », recalls that day in 2015 the Roma coach.
By now, the devout Rubera already had a large family, but a heavy heart: together with her husband Dario De Gregorio, she had three children, born by surrogacy in Canada, whom she would like to raise as Catholics. But that presented him with “a pastoral and personal problem” because the Catholic Church, which is so close to his heart, rejects his way of life.
Rubera wrote a letter to the Pope
“According to the teaching of the Church, respect for homosexual persons cannot in any way lead to the approval of homosexual conduct or the legal recognition of homosexual unions,” says a letter from the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith in 2003. Pope Benedict XVI. (93) later spoke in connection with homosexual marriage even of a “self-destruction of man and the destruction of the very work of God.”
Rubera complained to the Pope of his suffering by letter. “I asked for his help and explained that the Church had given me so much and that I wanted my children to have the same opportunities. But I wondered what price they would have to pay if they had two parents: I was afraid of exposing them to trauma ”, he told the“ Corriere della Sera ”.
“Francis asked me why”
And Francis answered. Apparently, just two days after the letter came the call to Rubera, who is also the spokesperson for “Cammini di speranza”, an association of Catholics from the LGBTQ community. “He got straight to the point: ‘I read your letter and I wanted to understand what the problem was. Weren’t they accepted into a parish? ›» The pontiff asked. “I told him I didn’t even try.” The fear of rejection was too strong. “He asked me why I was afraid.”
Even this question was an exciting insight into the mindset of the church leader. “He told me to go to the pastor and introduce myself because it was right for me, my children and the whole Church to participate in a community life of faith. I was expecting a blessing from the Pope in the abstract and instead I felt the pastoral approach that wanted to find a solution for the benefit of the children. “The Pope added:” You will see that you will find acceptance and that you will do well. “So it turned out.
Pope’s statement is less revolutionary than it seems
Francis had repeatedly shown his support for gay and lesbian Catholics. However, he had already pressured gay believers with some strange statements, for example, by presenting gay trends as a kind of fad. Did the call to Rubera change Francis’s attitude?
It was just announced that the pontiff has spoken out in favor of a legally binding association for the first time, a small sensation. “Homosexuals have the right to live with the family,” says Francis in a new documentary by Russian director Yevgeny Afineevsky (48) that breaks the Catholic attitude. “Francesco” premiered at the Rome Film Festival. In it, Francis says: Homosexuals are also children of God and must be legally protected. “What we need is a law that enables a civil society.”
However, at second glance, the statement is a bit less revolutionary than it sounds: several Western bishops and cardinals have already spoken in the past that gay couples should have legal certainty. While same-sex marriage is now allowed in most Western countries, people on the LGBTQ spectrum struggle with massive restrictions in Poland, for example, and are even persecuted in some African countries.
Rubera, who apparently moved the Pope, is also cautious according to “kath.ch”: “He never told me what he thought of my family. You are probably adhering to the teaching of the Church here. “Rather, it is the attitude that makes the difference.
Rubera LGBTQ Association used to meet with the Reformed
Be it a change of direction or simply a change of style: the Pope’s call changed the lives of Rubera and her husband. As the Corriere della Sera reports, the three children – two girls, one boy – have been catechizing in a parish in northern Rome since they were three years old. The eldest son has also already joined the boy scouts. “There has never been a problem.”
Rubera finds words of praise for the development of the Catholic Church. Believers in the LGBTQ community felt more and more welcome, while at the same time the church was training parish workers to accompany homosexuals throughout their lives.
This is also thanks to the commitment of LGBTQ associations within the church. When Rubera started working for “Cammini di speranza” in the late 1990s, they would have met in the renovated rooms. Now Francis gives them space.
