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Today, on International Star Child Remembrance Day, candles are lit around the world for stillborn babies. Beate Kehrberger’s son was also born lifeless. In an interview with Blick TV, he tries to describe the pain. “All of a sudden everything sinks into a fog,” says Kehrberger.
Their daughter Eleni was supposed to be born in December 2019, but Kehrberger suffered a stillbirth. “I felt helpless, helpless and desperate.” The reason for the accident: “I had a premature bladder rupture, probably caused by an infection.”
Eleni accompanies them through life
Eleni did not survive, but Kehrberger gave birth to their daughter. “It all happened very fast,” says Kehrberger. After the birth, he was able to take photos and footprints of Eleni, which will help her cope with today’s pain.
“There are pictures of Eleni everywhere at home,” says Kehrberger. “I think of her when I get up in the morning and at night when I go to bed.”
The Himmelskind association helps parents cope with pain. “We try to prevent everything‹ why no one told me that ›,” says Vice President Janine Hächler. For example, the association organizes a photographer who takes pictures of children after they are born. There are also self-help groups available to help those affected.
Support for those affected
“The club was extremely important,” says Kehrberger. He sought professional support after the coup of fate and found it in the Himmelskind association. “They knew how I was there, that’s good,” says the worried woman.
“Around 700 children are stillborn each year,” says Vice President Janine Hächler. In the first three months, genetic changes are usually the cause and infections later in pregnancy. “Sometimes you just don’t know why,” says Hächler. “But one in five pregnancies is supposed to end in miscarriage.”
Even if a pregnancy ends in fetal death, the goal is still for the mother to deliver her child on her own, explains independent midwife Beatrix Ulrich. “For women to notice that their bodies are working,” says Ulrich. The birth of the children of the stars is always a borderline experience for those affected. “First he welcomes the child, then he says goodbye,” says Ulrich. It is important to give parents enough time.
How should the environment react?
The environment of parents with star children is often unstable, says Janine Hächler of the Himmelskind association. She gives advice on how to treat mourners well. “The best thing to do is ask parents what they need,” says Hächler. It is often helpful to spend time with them. Sentences like “Time heals all wounds” and “You can get pregnant again” are more likely to hurt, “even if they only mean well,” says Hächler.
The loss of her daughter Eleni will be with her throughout her life, says Beate Kehrberger. “But the moments when it depresses me are less,” he says. But you still want to wait with a new pregnancy. “At the moment, it is still too early to get pregnant again.” (hac)
