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Alan sucks Francesca. Right on the first date! screenshot: 3+
It’s “Bachelor” again. And suck like a Dyson
Let’s take a seat ladies and gentlemen, cross our legs, and after an introduction with an incomprehensible quote from Hannah Arendt, let’s listen to the discussion about how insane a show like “The Bachelor” is in times of pandemic and climate change.
Get the brandy.
Get the popcorn.
It’s going to be awful.
During the first three minutes you can see more asses in the ninth season of “The Bachelor” than in the Republican convention. And with that we warmly welcome you to the zone of triumph, covid, foolish, and carefree we so need.
The man who delivers the following rose montage is called Alan Wey and outwardly he is a mix of Cristiano Ronaldo and Pauly D.
Ronaldo, Alan, Pauly D. image: keystone / tv3 / getty
However, when he speaks, he sounds like DJ Bobo. That is a compliment. Bobo has a nice voice. When he doesn’t sing.
DJ Bobo. Image: Department of Health and Social of the Canton of Lucerne
Alan is half Brazilian, half Swiss. That’s why it’s “the whole package” – it’s got the passion, the fire, and a GA!
Of course we invented GA, not passion. A comparison: Alan’s predecessor, Patric, liked to praise him relativistically: “You hate me, don’t avenge me.” Alan, for his part, likes to utter a passionate and nuanced: “Great. Hot. Hot. “It feels like five times. Especially when the” ladies “get out of the limo.
What kind of impression do these “ladies” make?
He is not a good one in the group.
Are these the undergraduate candidates? Or people waiting for the day of the visit in the Pöschwies prison? screenshot: 3+
Barney Stinson from “How I Met Your Mother” formulated the cheering effect in this context: The theory goes that a single person appears more attractive in a group of people than he or she is seen on her own.
The first episode of this ninth season vehemently refutes this theory. Candidates act in the group as the WAG * of would-be Michigan hijackers.
* WAG = “Wives and girlfriends” – “Women and friends”.
These 13 men are suspected of kidnapping Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer. bild: screenshot abcnews
The comparison is, of course, bitter and only legitimate in the context of exaggerated criticism. And it only applies to the group photo.
Individually, women present themselves in a completely different light. Each one spreads “passion”, “authenticity”, “class” and “style”, each one sees itself as a “global package”. Obviously, those are the attributes of “rock” this season. “I’m the queen, bitches!” Followed by embarrassed giggles. Greetings to the producers, who with a skillful cut expose the women and the candidates again and again.
Francesca is good at laughing. screenshot: 3+
As always, some candidates are particularly notable: Influencer Francesca, who has to prepare for a lot of hateful comments because of her work, seems much safer for cameras and texts than average. She can not only claim the first kiss, but also the best said. When tattoo model Angie declares that she “doesn’t want to share” her degree, she beats Francesca with: “I share an au nöd. I’ll also share chicken nuggets. “An unexpected laugh on an otherwise humorless show. Unless one celebrates foreign shame as comedy.
The kiss with Francesca then symbolizes Alan’s passion. They suck like a Dyson. Is Alan also suitable for cleaning higher places? What about cat hair?
Suction power that does not decrease. And that without a bag: Francesca and Alan. screenshot 3+
Francesca is definitely one of the favorites. The self-employed probably didn’t travel to Portugal without thinking about self-marketing. Let’s see how many Instagram followers you earn over the course of the show. At the moment the hand is at 14,300.
Even self-employed stripper Eva, who with an IQ of 130 as a child was in a special school for the gifted, should have one or another job with Alan in mind. If she can shed her layer of self-marketing, she becomes an asset to the program, too. If it doesn’t get lost in the trash, talk about lethal syringes.
Eva shows a sample of her professional activity. Or is it just good publicity? screenshot: 3+
The contrast program with Eva is the dancer Nara. “Unfiltered” is probably the correct term in context. But just like with tea, “unfiltered” also means “inedible” when it comes to communication. Nara has to be careful not to get lost in trash talk.
Nara, Veronika and Francesca react to Eva’s show gif: screenshot 3+
Tattoo model Angie also has an above-average presence. He’s surrounded by an aura of “last drunk at the bar.” Very nice. At 28, she is one of the most mature, and therefore one of the most cynical. She plays with the games, but also lets her fun shine through. If there is a goal, it is her. And it could turn out to be an interesting shaker.
The most evil: Angie. Somehow, you see her next to a metal guitarist instead of in Alan’s arms. screenshot: 3+
The favorites field remains clear. The blue haired Xenia probably belongs in the extended circle.
Alan has already overcome with great success the biggest stumbling block of this first season: he has found something good in each of the candidates. Even if it was just the name. And then you won’t get a rose. Her name is Isabel. You are lucky to be able to go now. That’s. And the freight train passes in front of our office. He also brings material from A to B.
“The Bachelorette” – The Decision
Video: Watson
