SuperMs Many modes of transportation, rank

After debuting in 2019 with a Billboard No. 1 album, SuperM is back. And as expected, they came back with bops, memes, and many, many cars. No one likes getting from Point A to Point B more than SuperM; her latest single, “100,” is even more proof of her admiration for transportation. “Can’t slow down,” they repeat in the chorus, punctuated in the video by flashes of cars, trains, and what a spaceship may or may not be. (More on that in a moment.)

But where, exactly, do the flashy new cars of ‘100’ fit into the great history of SuperM to travel in style? Cut back – from fuel efficiency to style and speed, it’s time to evaluate and rank every method of SuperM transport. Do not worry, there are no real losers here. After all, the real journey was the fans they made along the way.

Baekhyun Just … Walking (“Jopping”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 1/10
Efficiency: 1/10
Style points: 1/10
Creativity: 0/10
Security: 0/10
Total: 3/50

SuperM’s music video for “Jopping” was their first prey in machine over the top, as the seven members were shown traveling through various methods to meet at a futuristic concert dome in the middle of the desert. However, one member is not shown driving at all – group leader Baekhyun is left to ride dramatically across the endless sands of the Dubai desert while the other members drive forward. Imagine what that dry air could do to those golden focal chords! Yes, there are a few shots of him running away from a helicopter … but we never really see him in it. And could they not fall a little closer to him? Maybe Baekhyun is doing his best for the environment. At least his carbon footprint is in good shape, even if his feet are not.

15. Kai’s Home Improvement Road (“100”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 0/10
Efficiency: 0/10
Style points: 4/10
Creativity: 4/10
Security: 1/10
Total: 9/50

Kai’s first images for the final round promo brought a wave of “Kai works for Target” jokes, and the “100” music video does not support this theory much. Unfortunately, our man spends most of the song stuck in a gravity-defying equivalent of the Target tools department. Whether it’s a driving wrench, a loose steering wheel, an angry throw pillow, or seven types of overpriced trail mix, Employee of the Month Kim Jongin will make sure you check in with things worth your $ 300.

14. The Eponymous Super Car (“Super Car”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 10/10
Efficiency: 10/10
Style points: 10/10
Creativity: 10/10
Security: -30/10
Total: 10/50

Pros and cons of the super car, subject of the iconic SuperM song “Super Car”:

Pros:

Cons:

• It says “pious” – as a matter of fact since it. Seems like a symptom of underlying motor problem.
• According to the lyrics, the back trick is about to explode.
• It literally does not stop – seriously, it does not even brake.
• It does not have enough space for Kai and Lucas. Not acceptable.

13. The Exercise Bikes of Ten and Lucas (“Let’s Go Everywhere”)

Korean Air / SM Entertainment

Speed: 3/10
Efficiency: 0/10
Style points: 2/10
Creativity: 2/10
Security: 8/10
Total: 15/50

Just brains: Bikes don’t actually exercise everywhere, so they should be in the last place.

Galaxy brains: These exercise bikes happen to be on a super-swanky plane, so technically they run faster than almost any car on this list.

12. Taemin’s Magical Hot Wheels

SM Entertainment / Beyond Live

Speed: 1/10
Efficiency: 0/10
Style points: 5/10
Creativity: 5/10
Security: 10/10
Total: 21/50

Consume enough SuperM content, and you will see cars everywhere. (Maybe whoever makes these videos is just in constant Oprah mode.) Even the smallest cars are not left behind; in the introductory video that precedes SuperM’s live concerts, Taemin kicked things off by playing with … Hot Wheels? OK. However, these are not great toys – the glowing little cars zoom around in ways that defy the laws of physics, like Taemin himself. Play on, dance king.

Lucas’ Mysterious Silver Aircraft (“100”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 7/10
Efficiency: 7/10
Style points: 7/10
Creativity: 7/10
Security: 1/10
Total: 29/50

I think Lucas might go to space. (Wer.)

But I’m not sure, that’s why this mysterious silver plane is not higher on the list. He is absolutely sore up, based on the trajectory of the lights outside the windows. But is he sitting in an elevator? A cargo plane? Is he sitting in some vertical tunnel, about to extinguish in the stratosphere? What will happen if he releases those straps? So many questions, so little screen time. If you are going to put a man in a horse jacket and throw him on a spaceship, towards God knows where, then you need to give him more lines. It’s just being honest.

10. Taeyong and Mark’s Cars (“Jopping”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 7/10
Efficiency: 8/10
Style points: 6/10
Creativity: 5/10
Security: 8/10
Total: 34/50

A SuperM algebra problem: Mark Lee leaves the West in a car at 100 miles per hour at 7 p.m. On a parallel highway, Taeyong leaves SM Station three hours later and travels west at 127 miles per hour. At what point in this long donkey ride will Taeyong catch up with Mark?

Nowadays, I would probably have to admit that I knew absolutely nothing about cars – in this case, I’m more concerned with the guys who drive them. That’s probably why these particular cars, powered by Taeyong and Mark in the “Jopping” video, just land in the middle of the list. Sure, I think they are shiny and beautiful. They look reasonably safe, unlike the super car. I enjoyed watching Taeyong learn how to do it honk the horn. But the cars do not show nearly as significant impact as Mark’s iconic verse, and if Taeyong and Mark are going to the same place, why can they not just step on it?

9. Taemin’s Futuristic Elevator (“100”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 10/10
Efficiency: 9/10
Style points: 9/10
Creativity: 8/10
Security: 1/10
Total: 37/50

“The only way is up!” Baekhyun yells at “100” … a claim that Taemin refuses when he swings around a disco-tech elevator that sinks at a alarming rate. But we can not be surprised, considering that he also ignored the whole theme of this video in favor of a glam cowboy aesthetic. I give it well, but next time I need him to fill Lil Nas X.

Taemin’s Motorcycle (“Jopping”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 9/10
Efficiency: 7/10
Style points: 8/10
Creativity: 7/10
Security: 7/10
Total: 38/50

It is safe to say that Taemin so far has the best range of cars on the content of SuperM, and his motorcycle scenes in ‘Jopping’ are no exception. He even takes a minute to serve commuter-chic in the middle of the highway before wearing a sleek helmet (safety first!) And passing Taeyong and Mark past in the time it takes to “money monsoon.” That being said, all of these machines have their limits – namely that they cannot improve on Taemin’s own legs. Do you remember that when he spun at the end of his SuperM solo set, moonwalked, and jumped into a hole in the stage? That’s why I’m never scared when I see those MIT robot dogs – machines will never replace humanity.

Baekhyun and Taemin’s Car Army (“100”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 9/10
Efficiency: 6/10
Style points: 9/10
Creativity: 9/10
Security: 6/10
Total: 39/50

Poor Baekhyun. All those fancy cars zoom past him, and still no room for a weary traveler. The more things change, the more they stay the same. At least he gets his steps inside.

6. Taeyong and Mark’s Train (“100”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 9/10
Efficiency: 8/10
Style points: 9/10
Creativity: 9/10
Security: 5/10
Total: 40/50

Most of Taeyong and Mark’s “100” rap verses take place in what appears to be a loose train car – safety aside, it’s the coolest car in the video. My only problem is that spontaneous appearances on public transport make people uncomfortable and are never a good idea. No exceptions.

5. Kai’s Helicopter (“Jopping”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 9/10
Efficiency: 9/10
Style points: 9/10
Creativity: 9/10
Security: 6/10
Total: 42/50

It was smooth and streamlined. It shone in the sun, traversed gravity and catapulted Kai into new, previously unexplored territory. It was unexpected … exciting … revolutionary.

Why yes, I do bin talk about Kai’s ponytail. Which helicopter?

4. Ten’s… Magic Portal ??? (“100”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 10/10
Efficiency: 10/10
Style points: 10/10
Creativity: 10/10
Security: 4/10
Total: 44/50

We have known for years that the limitations of gravity do not apply to the bendy, acrobatic dancer of SuperM and WayV, but his apparent ability to surpass the plan of human existence is new. In the “100” video, Ten unfortunately lacks any real transport of his own, until he runs after the corpse on a glass window … and through the trap, dissolves into blue particles and disappears. Is it a portal? A black hole? A computer simulation? Kai taught him some of his EXO teleportation trucks? Again, since Ten has very few lines, I do not have time to fully assess what is happening here, and frankly I have seen so strangely crazy that he begins to look like one of those thumb people out Spy Kids.

3. The Korean SuperM aircraft

Korean Air / SM Entertainment

Speed: 10/10
Efficiency: 10/10
Style points: 10/10
Creativity: 10/10
Security: 10/10
Total: 50/50

Talk about elite sponcon. Along with recording a song and an accompanying safety video for its partnership with Korean Air, SuperM had also placed its faces on the side of a Boeing 777. Next time someone tells you that the giant K-pop posters in your room are “overkill” or “too much” or “do not match the atmosphere of the apartment, Kate” – then point them to this photo.

Ten and Lucas’ Tank (“Jopping”)

SM Entertainment

Speed: 9/10
Efficiency: 9/10
Style points: 100/10
Creativity: 100/10
Security: 5/10
Total: 223/50

This is the Batmobile of tanks; the chaotic good peak of all SuperM cars. There is absolutely nothing that anyone can say that can convince me to place this lower than second place. Why is it here? Where did they get it? How do they ride it? Which one is Batman, and which one is Robin? Who cares! It’s a tank!

1. Jopping

Speed: 1,000,000 / 10
Efficiency: 1,000,000 / 10
Style points: 1,000,000 / 10
Creativity: 1,000,000 / 10
Security: 0/10
Total: 4,000,000 / 50

Not since an apple fell on Sir Isaac Newton’s head in the summer of 1666 has man been so changed by the discovery of a new kind of movement. Jump en baby, you say? At the same time? Impossible, you would say. But with the debut of SuperM came the invention of jopping, the dance movement that would change the course of history. (It did, technically, history. Really.)

And look – jopping sits at the top of this rankings with full points in almost every category. Speed? Jopping is practically unrecognizable to the human eye, especially in the actual “Jopping” choreography. (One million dollars to anyone who can appoint one in fact contributes to the whole song.) Efficiency? Self explanatory – you do two dance moves at the same time. Style? These are some of the greatest dancers in K-pop. Creativity? She thought a whole word!

Security is the only category here – honestly, because I think if I make an editor read the word “jopping” one more time, I’ll lose my job.

[Ed. note: Correct.]