[ad_1]
SINGAPORE: After almost eight years of trying to have a child, and finally conceiving last year, Vivien Heng should have hoped to welcome her baby with nothing but joy.
Now 39 weeks pregnant, she must show up at any time and full of concerns.
In a world of COVID-19 “circuit breakers”, locks, and motion control orders (MCOs), the new mother faces the possibility of no postpartum support.
“Caring for a baby is something that we are not familiar with. How am I going to handle it? she asked.
Her husband, who is in essential service, will return to work after his two weeks of paternity leave are over.
His Malaysian parents are unable to travel outside of his country due to the extended MCO. Vivien tried to hire a confinement babysitter, but many are also from Malaysia.
Even the maid she had hired in the Philippines is trapped in her home country due to a lockdown there since last month.
Their remaining option was to get their mother-in-law to help, but under Singapore’s improved safe distancing rules, grandparents can care for their grandchildren only if they live under the same roof throughout the entire “circuit breaker” period.
Stock image. (Photo: Pexels / Kristina Paukshtite)
FEELING ISOLATED
In fact, the pandemic has created more than the usual uncertainty for new and pregnant mothers.
In addition to the normal anxieties of pregnancy and new parenthood, some now struggle with fear of the virus, interrupted caregiver options, even the occasional shortage of diapers.
New mother Chanelle Wang increasingly feels the strain of isolation. She has been largely driving Clarice for a month alone, as her husband is on the job for the duration of the “circuit breaker.”
“I feel like every day they are testing my emotional and physical limits,” said the 30-year-old IT analyst. While Chanelle lives with her father, he is 80 years old and can only provide limited help. She had to feed, bathe, and burp her son while recovering from childbirth.
File photo (Photo: AFP / Peter Parks)
Fortunately, she had a confining babysitter initially to teach her those skills. “I thought we could handle it after that.
“But the situation (COVID-19) got worse and my husband had to leave. It is too late to get a maid now,” said Wang, whose in-laws are unable to help due to safe distancing.
The new mother, Sharon Lim, whose daughter Emma Rose was born on April 1, considered herself fortunate to obtain the services of a confinement nanny, only to have her resign after three days, when the nanny discovered that Sharon’s husband was a hospital doctor
“I was very distressed and worried that I didn’t know what to do. I haven’t fully recovered, and suddenly this thing … even implying that my husband had germs,” said Sharon, 29. “It didn’t feel right.”
Sharon Lim’s girl Emma Rose (Source: Sharon Lim)
The confinement agency was unable to find him a replacement babysitter. Fortunately, her supportive husband stepped forward and helped with Emma Rose’s evening meals. They also live with their parents, and Sharon is grateful for their additional support.
For another new mother, Yvonne Yeo, her parents and parents-in-law are practicing safe distancing, which means the businesswoman must juggle her job duties and the demands of her two-month-old baby without her extra help.
Yvonne, who is married to a physical therapist, said: “It has been difficult. When there are video calls, one of the parents must make sure that the baby is not crying.”
Still, the 32-year-old feels she is lucky to have her husband’s help: “I have read that some of the mothers in online forums cannot get a babysitter and parents (to help). And they also have another son to take care of ”.
Yvonne Yeo and her baby Eli (Source: Yvonne Yeo)
HOSPITALS TAKING PRECAUTIONS
But what really scares future mothers like Vivien is the idea of contracting the virus and passing it on to their unborn child.
When she goes to the hospital for her routine exam, she opts for a trip instead of taking public transportation.
“(COVID-19) has spoiled the atmosphere, the whole experience,” said her husband Alex Tan. “It is more demanding for us and adds more concerns.”
Vivien is also unclear if grandparents will be able to visit and take their baby to the hospital after delivery, due to stricter visitation policies.
“If so, our parents will not be able to hold the baby until the” circuit breaker “is finished,” he said.
Vivien Heng and her husband Alex Tan. (Source: Vivien Heng)
Before her baby was born, Sharon, a public official, had to undergo routine examinations at the hospital, which she described as “going to a war zone” with multiple security checks and that constant fear of infection.
Her birth plan was also changed when a month before her due date, she was told to change hospitals since her doctor was restricted from working inside a hospital to avoid inter-agency transmission.
Since Emma was born, Sharon’s own parents have hugged their grandson only once. “They have to settle for videos and photos every day. It’s kind of sad to practice social distancing with babies, “she said.
Meanwhile, Gwendolin Mah, 32, decided to vaccinate her two-month-old girl at a private pediatric clinic instead of a polyclinic. Most childhood vaccines for Singaporeans are subsidized at polyclinics.
Gwendolin Mah with her husband Koh Eu Jin and Gemma. (Source: Gwendolin Mah)
“The polyclinic is too crowded, and although there are separate sections for children, there is still a lot of interaction,” he said, adding that he would prefer to pay more to minimize the risk in a quieter private clinic.
FROM DIAPERS TO CANCELED SHOWERS
Then there is grocery shopping, which has become another source of concern for Chanelle.
As the primary caregiver for her baby, her elderly father has to leave the house to buy food when the delivery spaces on the online supermarket platforms are full.
And thanks to the panic purchase, some popular brands of newborn diapers are in short supply, said Chanelle, who has run out of her latest pieces.
“We just take any brand (these days). I have to plan ahead and order online, ”he said.
Yvonne has resorted to buying her groceries and baby supplies online to cut down on the frequency of outings, even though it can be stressful when there are no delivery slots.
“I’m tired, I don’t want to think about not having diapers … Adults can cope without certain things, but not babies,” said Yvonne, who took it upon herself to order online at 3 am when she’s breastfeeding her son, just to be able to secure a delivery slot.
Stock photo of a person buying online. (Photo: Christy Yip)
For most new parents, safe distancing also means baby showers should be thrown away.
Yvonne had already sent out invitations for a celebration in May, with all the catering planned for her son’s big party.
“When the ‘circuit breaker’ occurred, we notified our guests that it would be postponed,” he said. “The grandparents eagerly awaited him. Many of my family members have not had the opportunity to meet him. But as parents, it’s better to be responsible. “
While Sharon also canceled her baby shower, she is grateful for friends who send her packages to cheer her on.
“I haven’t really dated people since February. There’s a bit of a cabin fever, of course,” he said. “I keep telling myself it’s for the common good.”
BECOME STRONGER TOGETHER
Despite the anxieties of raising the baby in these difficult times, mothers take it as a learning experience and an exercise in character development.
“With so many last-minute changes, we learn to be emotionally stronger,” Sharon said. “Pregnancy is not easy, (one) becomes hormonal; But we have to be strong for the baby. These kinds of circumstances are very exceptional. “
Yvonne appreciates that her husband, who now works from home, has more time with the family. “And I have the excuse to extend my maternity leave,” she added.
“As new parents, we spend more time with the baby and learn to cope without support. It used to be easy to ask for help; now we are better at multitasking. “
For teacher Kanages Kuma, mother of two twin three-month-olds, this period of “circuit breaker” has also resulted in more family time as everyone is forced to be home.
Santhosh Kuma, Kanages and their twins (Courtesy: Kanages Kuma)
This 34-year-old woman who is still on maternity leave lives with her in-laws, and there is great support from the family of 11. “Having twins is twice as happy and tired: our hearts and hands are always full.” she teased.
Her husband, who is in IT, is never far away: the twins take a nap in the same room where he works.
“In a way it’s good, there is more family time and the focus is always on the kids,” said Kanages, a first-time mother. “There is more time to do things as a family.”
