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SINGAPORE – Ms. Jayme Tan received the “best Mother’s Day gift” last Wednesday (May 6): her husband at home.
Mr. Xie Jiahao finally reunited with his wife and children after 51 days of fighting Covid-19, all for a good deed.
On March 16, the 37-year-old man decided to comfort his grieving friend, who had just lost his wife, by staying at his home for a week. His friend, who had just returned from Britain, tested positive for Covid-19 on March 22.
Xie, assistant vice president of digital marketing, was immediately quarantined and tested positive on March 30. He was transferred to D’Resort NTUC in Pasir Ris on April 5 because his mild symptoms had decreased.
Another month passed before he finally obtained two consecutive negative swab tests and was discharged, fortuitously, on his mother’s birthday and two days after hers.
After facing two preschoolers alone, Ms. Tan, who is 14 weeks pregnant with her third child, says, “I am overwhelmed with happiness. It has been such a long journey and, although I knew this meeting day would surely be Come on, it still feels surreal that today is the day. “
The past two months have been a “crazy journey” for the 31-year-old. During the circuit breaker period, he juggled home learning for his children, while working from home as a leader in business operations and managing the home with the help of his maid. She also suffered from nausea, fatigue, and low back pain during her first trimester.
It was a 180 degree change for the mother, who used to walk out the door before her children woke up and trusted that her in-laws lived nearby to transport the children to daycare and back.
As she hoards daily breakfast with six-year-old Zoe and four-year-old Coen, she confesses: “They often take me in different directions throughout the day. They can be work calls, playing Lego with the kids, cooking dinner, planning activities for kids to keep them busy, breaking up fights, reading books to them and basically spending the day. “
Fortunately, her boss and colleagues were supportive, giving her the flexibility she needed to care for her children.
Her in-laws, who live nearby, “continue to be our greatest support” as they delivered groceries and left them outside her door every week.
The close bond her husband had established with her children meant that family celebrations without him were emotionally charged. They celebrated both boys’ birthdays in April, as well as Xie’s through Zoom.
Despite the fact that Zoe received deliveries from friends for her birthday, as well as cakes and balloons, “she sobbed in my arms because Dad was not around. That broke all of our hearts,” says Tan.
Still, the couple found creative ways to be shared parents, even attacking Mr. Xie to play Monopoly with the kids through Zoom in the days when Ms. Tan had an urgent job.
During her husband’s absence, she tried to stay positive.
“My husband tells me I’m a survivor, so that’s probably what I learned about myself,” she says, recalling that she had to bake a cake at the last minute for Coen’s birthday when the dessert shops suddenly told her that will close.
“As a full-time working mother, I see this period as a gift and answered prayer, that I can spend so much time with the children; eating three meals a day together, seeing their faces all the time and being surrounded by their laughter.”
How Mother’s Day Will Happen: Ms. Tan says they will probably “order a good takeout, spend the whole day playing with the kids and making up for lost time.”
The family will make video calls to her mother and mother-in-law, and she has written cards for them.
“They are both very precious to me and I hope that on this day they know how loved they are by us and the grandchildren.”
GIVING LIFE LESSONS TO CHILDREN WHILE KEEPING THE BUSINESS FLOATING
Before the pandemic, things were looking rosy for Ms. Dewi Imelda Wadhwa, the mother-in-chief behind the halal bakery and All Things Delicious coffee.
“The business was growing and we had a very positive outlook; we were hiring at the time,” says Wadhwa, 41, who started an online bakery in 2013 after five years as a stay-at-home mom.
Word spread about their delicious cakes, and later opened a café on Arab Street in 2016, expanding into catering and serving multinational companies like Johnson & Johnson.
After this year’s Chinese New Year, businesses plummeted as events were canceled and customers started working from home. “We have never seen such numbers, ever,” she says.
In anticipation of the stricter measures, her husband, Mr. C.J. Wadhwa helped develop a website that allowed them to fulfill orders in two hours. This meant that they did not have to rely on food delivery companies.
Wadhwa, 50, a commercial photographer whose corporate duties have also been exhausted, now also helps with household chores.
“The website really took off for us,” says Wadhwa, adding that orders that Iftar meals be broken quickly during Ramadan keep his team busy. She is also completely reserved for Mother’s Day.
While struggling to keep her coffee afloat, she also had to juggle Home Learning (HBL) for her two children, who are in Primary 3 and Primary 6.
“The first half of the day is HBL, so I would stay home just to make sure they can log in and all that correctly. Then they have all the follow-up work that they’re supposed to do within a certain time. After that, they can play all day. “
On the weekends they used to bike in the East Coast Park or go hiking in the MacRitchie Reservoir Park. Children also have sleepovers at their maternal grandparents’ house. But that has been replaced by Netflix screen time, board games, and pizza parties on Fridays and Saturdays.
Social distancing measures have also affected his weekend break hours, as his team cannot operate at full strength. “They gave us a limited number (of staff) to run the place. So it has gotten busier for me. I have to step in to help them,” he says, adding that their stress level is “pretty high” now.
At the same time, he discovered that he could be “agile and flexible” with business decisions during the switch period.
“Instead of looking at it in such a negative way, I really thought about it a lot and asked what we can do to turn this into an opportunity for us,” she says.
The pandemic has also brought lessons in family life, which he imparts to his children. “I tell them how much business has fallen and what we have to do to survive, so we talk a lot about these things. So in a way, you can see why mom and dad are working so hard, so that they can be comfortable.”
How Mother’s Day Will Pass: “Working,” says Wadhwa, who plans to order food for dinner.
THE MAIN PRIORITY IS TO KEEP YOUR CHILD SAFE
Most mothers expect schools to reopen on June 2, but Ms. Azleen Khamis has not decided whether her daughter, Asfa, will be reunited with her classmates in kindergarten.
Just a month after her second birthday in 2016, Asfa was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia, a type of blood cancer that affects white blood cells.
After about three years of chemotherapy and one year of remission, her immune system is still much weaker than that of other children, leaving the six-year-old girl more vulnerable to the coronavirus. A flu episode that usually takes a few days to resolve persists for 1 ½ weeks in Asfa’s case, says Ms. Azleen.
“Even for her to leave the house, I am constantly concerned, because she will be at greater risk of contracting the virus.”
She is grateful that her daughter has at least had the opportunity to visit Mickey Mouse House at Hong Kong Disneyland in 2018, thanks to Make-A-Wish Singapore.
“The experience of desire has given my family, and especially Asfa, the strength to face future challenges,” says the 36-year-old high school teacher, who also has a three-year-old son, Haris.
Recent challenges included death in the family.
Azleen’s 58-year-old aunt, who suffered from lymphoma, moved into her home along with her husband and son the weekend before the circuit breaker started. Ms. Azleen’s parents also live in the terrace house.
Her aunt died two weeks later, and the family struggled to make arrangements for the burial amid social distancing measures.
“But with the kids around, and their laughter, screaming, and sometimes screaming, the level of sadness drops a little bit,” she says.
As part of learning at home, Ms. Azleen spent the past month teaching her food and nutrition lessons online, while her husband, Mr. Horis Hosri, a 35-year-old Allied educator, continued to work at the school until The circuit breaker measurements tightened and he was told to work from home as well.
“Halfway there, my kids would join the live lessons, like (make) a special appearance,” he adds with a smile.
Having your extended family at home during the pandemic has its benefits, she says.
“Because there is more family presence, the children develop better. Haris’s vocabulary has increased, he knows how to express himself and can form sentences.”
“Asfa can take care of Haris, bathe him, dress him. I just sit outside and watch over them.”
Reflecting on her multiple roles as a teacher and mother during the circuit interruption period, she says: “You are the principal, the school gang, the canteen vendor, the discipline teacher, the cleaner, from whom the children run and run away.
“You should take care of everyone’s needs at home, making sure things are in order and then be comfortable. Being a mother and having children makes me better understand the sacrifices my mother made for me when I was younger.”
How Mother’s Day will pass: It will be a “discreet” matter due to her aunt’s recent death, says Ms. Azleen, who plans to order food and extend her thanks to her mother.
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