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SINGAPORE – In a span of five months, Luo Tianze lost his parents to cancer.
Their deaths, amid the Covid-19 pandemic, came at the end of a seven-year ordeal for the 31-year-old and his family.
They will not be there to witness their son’s graduation from the Nanyang Academy of Fine Arts and fulfill his dream of becoming a professional musician.
“The pain that arises from a loss like this is hard to describe. My parents were always around to greet me when I came home after a long day of school or a performance. They started this journey with me, but I’m finishing it on my own.” said Mr. Luo.
In 2013, his mother, Madame Chia Kui Lian, a former sales promoter, was diagnosed with a rare condition called Neuromyelitis optica (NMO), a central nervous system disorder that primarily affects the ocular nerves and the spinal cord.
What began as numbness in her limbs deteriorated into irreversible nerve damage that forced her to be in a wheelchair in later years.
In 2016, she was diagnosed with second-stage lymphoma, a cancer that attacks the white blood cells that fight infection.
The family suffered another blow when Luo’s father, Low Boo Kwan, a retired laboratory officer, discovered that he had stage 4 pancreatic cancer in January this year.
As visits to the hospital became more frequent and the home faced financial difficulties over the years, it was Luo’s passion for music that gave him the strength to cope and the purpose to move on.
Music has been an integral part of Mr. Luo’s life since he joined the concert band at Riverside Secondary School and began playing the saxophone. But the same passion did not extend to his academic subjects.
“Of the three kids, I was the one who was playful and was not paying attention to my grades. Like any traditional Asian family, my parents wanted to see me succeed,” he said.
His younger sister, 30, is a civil servant, while his older brother, 34, is a computer programmer.
While helping a friend train students for the Singapore Youth Festival in 2012, Luo discovered that he enjoyed teaching music and acting. In 2016, after national service and a period of work, he enrolled in Nafa to obtain a diploma in music.
But she soon found herself skipping classes to care for her mother as she grew sicker, then sneaking back to school at night to practice.
“I would stay with her until 9pm and then go back to school to rehearse alone. My music healed me and kept me distracted from reflecting on the next day. It was cathartic,” he said.
When he felt guilty about the absenteeism, he opened up to a few speakers and was “shocked and humiliated” by how understanding and helpful they were.
“Nafa has been my safe space. When I practice and teach, I feel happy because these are the things I love. I am not an expressive person by nature, so the music helped me find closure with the circumstances at home, the I balance my emotions and find peace, “he said.
Entering the final year of his diploma, Mr. Luo found himself at a crossroads, torn between pursuing a degree and returning to work to ease the financial burden on the family. At the time, his father had suffered a stroke.
“I felt selfish for wanting to join the study program,” he said.
His brothers, however, supported him.
“While we had financial difficulties, we realized that the ultimate goal was for him to have a title that would serve him well in the long run,” said his brother, Dezhang. “While he was skeptical at first about his opportunities as an artist in Singapore, it is comforting to see that his career path is progressing. Where he was unable to contribute financially, he tried to give his time and care to our parents.”
Luo’s hard work paid off, earning him admission to the Royal College of Music (RCM) -Nafa degree program, as well as the San San Musical Merit Award and Higher Education Scholarship, which according to He said it covered half the tuition for the year.
But her joy was cut short by her father’s sudden cancer diagnosis in January.
“I remember seeing him sitting on his hospital bed during Chinese New Year and I knew he was scared; he was terrified for the future. I knew I had to stay mature and keep pushing because getting too emotional was not going to solve anything,” said Mr. Luo.
With his two brothers working full time, much of the caregiving responsibilities fell on him.
He canceled his teaching sessions and restricted himself from leaving the house as much as possible to avoid a risk of Covid-19 infection to his parents. He would go out alone to buy food or medicine.
Madame Chia’s condition worsened and she fell into a coma. As happened during the circuit breaker, the family was only able to visit her two by two and say goodbye for the last time on May 11. She was 64 years old.
Just one month after his death, Mr. Luo won the RCM Musical Excellence Award, which is awarded annually to an exceptional student in the program based on their academic performance and financial needs.
“I was stunned. I remember being shocked that I received the award and sharing the news with my siblings. But when I saw my mother’s empty bed every morning, I knew that the award did not make up for her absence,” he said. said.
The brothers’ father, who was 68 years old, died a few months later, on September 3, with the three by his bed.
Despite her pain, she was relieved that her parents no longer had to suffer. To honor their last wishes, the brothers cremated their parents and scattered their ashes in the sea.
Mr. Luo said that he missed the constant presence of his parents in the house, but he is holding on to his dream of teaching and helping others discover music as he did at school.
“I learned compassion, and especially patience, during this period. I know I will be able to apply this as an instructor in a classroom,” he said. “In the past, when I played music, a sad song was just sad or a happy song was just happy. But now, I understand the nuances. I can relate to the songwriter’s melodies or the change in notes. The loss of a loved one one helps me relate to the songs beyond a generic negative or positive feeling, and it matured my music. “
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SHOUT OF GENERATION
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Do you know someone 35 or younger who has shown courage in the midst of life’s adversities? Email us at [email protected]
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