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Beneath Julie Tan’s bright smiles and cheerful demeanor lie “tons of negative and unpleasant thoughts.”
The local actress spoke about her state of mind in a 45-second clip posted on video sharing service TikTok last Saturday, revealing her history of self-harm and ongoing struggle to love herself.
It took the format of a makeup tutorial video with text overlay.
Tan, 28, is known for starring in various Chinese language TV dramas and films, most notably as the female lead in the 2013 Singaporean musical That Girl In Pinafore.
His most recent works include the television dramas Mister Flower and True Lies.
She told her 97,600 TikTok followers, “Whenever I feel depressed, there are voices in my head that tell me that I deserve to be punished.
“So he would punish me, bite my arms and slap me. When I was younger, I used to cut myself but because of work now I can’t afford to get scars.
“It’s been 10 months since I got hurt, but sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming. During difficult times, the need to hurt myself is so strong. I will always tell myself not to give up, I need to be strong. But sometimes I’m tired of being strong. “
He ended the clip by telling those who are struggling that they are “not alone” and encouraged everyone to be nice to each other.
In an interview with The New Paper, an emotional Tan said the video captured a rare moment of their breakup, where her “emotions hit and hurt.”
She added: “I am ready to share and show my vulnerable side to everyone.”
@julietan_cxq It’s not the easiest thing to share, but I hope we can all love each other more and be kind to one another. # mental health matters
♬ driver’s license x ocean eyes – carneyval
PRIVATE MESSAGES
Since then, the video has garnered more than 4,000 likes and more than 500 comments, many of which showed support for Tan.
He also received private messages from people who shared stories of their own struggles and comments from teenagers who he thinks are asking for help.
She said, “It’s really amazing to see that everyone has so much inner strength to keep going, which really motivates me to be a better person.”
According to Tan, her emotional problems stemmed from her “childhood trauma,” when her mother had difficulty expressing her emotions appropriately.
Between the ages of seven and 12, the couple attended therapy together, but stopped during their teens as they were both busier.
When her condition worsened under the high pressure and public scrutiny of being a celebrity, she resumed therapy for a time in her early 20s.
She also received professional help in 2019 from the Safe Space mental health care app.
So now he prefers to go to his friends for support.
The open and candid conversations she had with her mother at the beginning of the pandemic also prevented her from harming herself.
Ms. Evonne Lek, Systemic Psychotherapist and Family Therapist at Reconnect Psychology & Family Therapy, praised Tan’s courage and openness for sending an “affirming” message.
She told TNP: “We want to change the stigma that sharing mental health struggles is weak. In fact, it is incredibly powerful.”
Dr. Lek encouraged people to seek professional help if they don’t have sources of social support, as “a therapist can guide you through your roller coaster of emotions and you can experience compassion and kindness for yourself.”
ALSO READ: Buckle up: Julie Tan won’t reveal her secrets so easily from now on, thanks to Jeanette Aw
SINGAPORE SUPPLY LINES
- Singapore Samaritans: 1800-221-4444
- Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019
- Care Corner Counseling Center (Mandarin): 1800-353-5800
- Mental Health Institute Mental Health Helpline: 6389-2222
- Silver ribbon: 6386-1928
- Shan You Counseling Center (Mandarin): 6741-0078
- Fei Yue Online Advisory Service: www.eC2.sg
This article was first published in The new role.
