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MANILA – Miss Universe Philippines runner-up Michele Gumabao said she was “heartbroken” and “devastated” after hearing things she was “not supposed to hear” after filming the coronation the night before it was broadcast.
In a half-hour vlog posted on Monday, Gumabao addressed speculation surrounding the contest’s results, initially spurred by a fellow candidate, Sandra Lemonon, who called for “justice” for alleged “cheating”; and the circulating photo of the top five candidates, including the winner Rabiya Mateo, but without Gumabao.
“I am speaking for myself. I am empowering myself. I fight for my story. I’m fighting for my experiences, ”he said in the first minutes of the video.
“Cause people have tried to stain my name and drag me down [with] so many problems that are not real and did not happen. I am not sharing all this to attack anyone or to hurt anyone, ”Gumabao explained.
“I just want to share the truth. I want to share my story. I want to be honest with myself, because I know this will be the only way to look back and move forward happily. “
‘I fainted’
Gumabao recalled that weeks before the contest, he had his team undergo coronavirus tests so they could temporarily stay at his home in Manila. It was part of her preparation to be “independent” when it comes to hairstyle, hair, and makeup during the competition.
As part of the security protocols in the midst of the pandemic, the Miss Universe Philippines (MUP) organization limited the number of people allowed at the site of the pageant in the city of Baguio.
Before heading to Baguio on October 11, Gumabao was involved in an incident that left her “devastated.”
She narrated: “That day I woke up and, taking my first steps, I passed out. I collapsed. “
At the time, Gumabao had been juggling his preparation for the contest in addition to his professional commitments.
“I cut my head, twisted my knee, broke my toe. It was all very challenging, because as a beauty queen, you have to walk in high heels, you have to look your best, your face has to be presentable at all times, ”he said.
“It was depressing for me, it was devastating for me. I spent the whole day in bed. I did not know what to do. I decided to do my rehabilitation at home and do everything I could at home. “
The incident took place three days before candidates were to register at the Baguio compound.
‘ANXIETY, PRESSURE, EXHAUST’
Fortunately, when he arrived for the actual competition, Gumabao was able to handle his apprehensions and what was left of his injuries, “as if nothing had happened.”
But more challenges awaited him in Baguio, he said.
“More than the pain, more than the struggle of these last weeks, it was more the schedule that we really had to fulfill that gave me so much pressure, and that gave me … That was difficult for me,” he said. .
“I was prepared to do things on my own, but I was not prepared for the times that are so delayed, days when we could not eat due to our hectic schedules that we really had to follow. There were days when we were kept in our rooms without knowing why, and we were just there in our rooms.
“Those little things accumulated in the end. The anxiety, all the pressure, the fatigue … It was a lot to handle ”.
On Saturday, October 24, Gumabao and his fellow candidates filmed the preliminary competition and the crowning event.
He remembered the end of that day as a “night of fun.”
“We had the best night of my trip as a candidate, and I had my best memories of getting to bond with all the girls and spend time with them. I was so grateful. “
However, he began to receive “cryptic messages from people about the results” as the party progressed.
“I didn’t care about them. I chose to have fun. I chose to spend time with the girls. I chose to spend time with my sisters, ”she said.
‘I WITNESS THINGS’
But Gumabao could no longer contain his emotions when, around 3 am on Sunday, October 25, “I heard things that I was not supposed to hear.”
In the vlog description, Gumabao wrote similarly, “I heard things I should never have heard, I witnessed things I should never have witnessed as a candidate.”
“It hurt,” he said in the video. “I have to admit I went back to my room and cried a lot. All these questions just came back to my head, everything I’ve been hearing for the last two days came rushing to my head, “he said.
“I was devastated. That night I was devastated. I called my family and wanted to go home. My car was waiting outside and I could have gone home. But they told me to think about it, to decide what I decide, they would support me one hundred percent They told me to pray. “
Gumabao did not reveal what he heard or saw that caused him “distress.”
She proceeded to narrate Sunday morning, when she finally decided to leave her room to the encouragement of a fellow candidate.
“I put on makeup, got dressed, smiled, looked pretty and went down, deliberately, when I was already a long dress. The top 16 were already walking in their long dress, ”she said, referring to the broadcast of the recorded coronation event.
The day before, during the filming of the finale, five different candidates were filmed to wear the crown, according to host KC Montero.
Mateo later confirmed that versions of the coronation were filmed with different candidates to avoid leaking results, but the actual announcement of the winner only happened during Sunday’s broadcast.
Gumabao, in his vlog, narrated: “I knew that in a short time we would crown the winner and everything would be over and I could go home. I went downstairs and, for the last time, I told myself that I should smile for the show, for the cameras.
“The news of the winner has already leaked online, because streaming, I think, was more advanced than ours. But when I went down, I saw that our feed was long overdue, and it was only part of the top 16 ad.
“Many people came to me and hugged me. A lot of tears passing by. So many questions of why, how, what overwhelms me too much. “
In his first statement after Mateo’s announcement as the winner, Gumabao said that he already “knew who won last night.”
“After knowing what I knew the last two days, everything fell apart,” he said in his vlog. “I couldn’t handle it. I admit, I wasn’t strong enough to handle that at the time. “
“I knew I was going to fail and I didn’t want to do that in front of the cameras.”
NO-SHOW IN PICTORIAL
Gumabao then explained the reason for his absence in the photo shoot of the five best candidates. He recalled telling the organizers his plan to move forward, obtaining permission from one of the bosses, Jonas Gaffud, and also congratulating Mateo via text message.
“I went to the production and he told me that it was too difficult for me, that I couldn’t stay here. And I told them that I really wanted to go. Can we advance the feed? Because they already announced online who the winner was, “he said.
“They said they can’t, because we have to finish the broadcast and we are filming. I said, ‘I can’t do this. Can we finish? And they told me they had to take the picture, and I said, ‘Can we do it?’ And they said they couldn’t. I said, ‘I’m sorry’, I had to go. And I left “.
Seeming to control her tears, Gumabao recounted that, “At that time, I realized that for nine months, I kept putting this trip first, I kept putting this organization first.”
“It was my time to put myself first. And I did it.”
Referring to Gaffud, Gumabao said: “I told him my reason. I told him I was leaving. I told them everything. He said it was fine. He said he was worried about social media and what everyone would think, and I told him not to worry and that I would take care of everything. “
“I sent a message to our winner, congratulated her and told her why I am leaving. She replied, ‘Thank you.’
Gumabao noted that he chose to rest during the trip to his home in Manila, and said he only learned of the spate of rumors about the pageant when he got home.
Gumabao said she was particularly saddened that MUP did not issue a statement in response to speculation about her absence from the post-contest photo shoot.
“What saddens me the most is that when people talked about me leaving and not being part of that photo, the organization knew why. They knew my reasons, they knew that I left. But they never said anything. They were silent, ”he said.
‘NOT ONLY’
Without naming names, Gumabao said she was “not alone” in her feelings about running the contest.
“There are many of us who wish that things happened differently, that our trip had been better in some way. We understand the conditions of the pandemic. We understand the difficulties that everyone had to go through and the adjustments that everyone had to make to make this possible, ”he said.
Gumabao continued to speak of his “destiny” on the pageant scene. Before Miss Universe Philippines, Gumabao sought the same crown in 2018 when she was still under Binibining Pilipinas. Instead, she won the Binibining Pilipinas Globe, making her the country’s representative at the Miss Globe pageant that year.
Gumabao, 28, has said that Miss Universe Philippines would be her last pageant, given the age limit for beauty pageants.
“I just hope that people allow me to accept my destiny and my destiny on my own terms,” he said in his vlog. “There were things he shouldn’t have heard, I hope he never heard.”
“Accepting failure is one thing, but it is mixed with so much doubt, so much uncertainty towards me as a human being, as a woman, that was something that needed time to process and needed time to accept. “
“I know that I am strong, I know that I am confident, I know that I am empowered, but at that moment I doubted everything, I doubted how I was. He was not used to that. I panicked. I did what I had to do and I don’t regret any decisions I made in this contest. I do not regret having joined, to be part of it, I do not regret having left, “he added.
Gumabao also targeted those behind the “online harassment” and “fake news” that he said plagued the pageant.
“We should stop hitting. We should stop spreading lies and negativity. Although we are free to speak with our hearts and minds and share our passions on a certain topic, that does not mean that it is okay to tear down and tear down people, just because we feel bad, ”he said.
Gumabao ended by sharing her hope that the aspiring queens will have a better experience than she did last year.
“I have to speak, I have to defend myself, I have to fight for myself, because I knew that no one would,” she said. “I’m sharing this because I hope that the future will be a different experience for future girls who dream of becoming the next representatives of our country.”
