Michele Gumabao: ‘I was heartbroken, I was devastated’

Volleyball star and beauty queen Michele Gumabao shared the ups and downs of her journey as a candidate for the recent Miss Universe Philippines 2020 pageant in a revealing 24-minute video posted to her YouTube channel last Monday.

The video, which has garnered more than 250,000 views to the time of its writing, showed Gumabao giving explanations for his actions during the contest after receiving a backlash online.

“I am speaking now and defending myself because I know that no one will. This is my statement, this is my story, this is my message for all of you, ”Gumabao wrote in the publication of the video.

The 28-year-old open attacker admitted that she is speaking after overcoming doubt and fear in recent days.

“I am not going to share this to attack or hurt anyone. I just want to share the truth. And I want to be honest with myself because this will be the only way to look back and move forward happily, “she said.

Gumabao said she passed out and was injured from exhaustion a few days before the night of the parade. He sprained his ankle, broke a toe and injured his head, so he decided to do his rehabilitation at home.

He added that the hectic and sometimes unpredictable schedule also took its toll.

“There were days when they kept us in our rooms and those little things just piled up. In the end, all the anxiety, pressure and exhaustion was a lot to handle, ”he said.

But an incident pushed her to the limit, to the point that all she wanted was to go home.

He was spending the night with the girls, getting to know them better as pandemic restrictions did not allow them to bond as often as they could when he received cryptic messages from people about the results.

At first, Gumabao did not care and decided to have fun with the girls.

It didn’t stop there.

“Early in the morning of the 25^th (October) at 3am, I heard things I wasn’t supposed to hear and it hurts. I admit I went to my room and cried a lot. Everything I’ve been hearing in the last few days came to mind. I was shattered. I was devastated, ”she said.

“I realized that for nine months I kept putting this journey first, this organization first, and it was time to put myself first. And I did it.”

Gumabao, who ultimately won the second runner-up, said that he sent a notice to people in the organization with the reasons why he wanted to go home, and even congratulated the winner of the contest, Rabiya Mateo. But she was shocked by the social media posts from people criticizing her for her absence in the photos of the winners circulating online.

“I thought everything was fine… When I got to Manila, my family was there. They told me what was happening online and everything: all the stories, all the themes that were made up, and I couldn’t believe that people were capable of such things, that we are in this beauty pageant, uniting for our dreams, because we want empowering people, but it’s so toxic: the industry, the fans, the hitters, the critics… It’s all so toxic and I couldn’t believe it, ”he said.

Gumabao also expressed disappointment at people who could have defended her but did not.

“What saddens me the most is when people talk about me leaving and I’m not part of that photo. The organization knew why. They knew my reasons. They knew why I left, but they never said anything. They were silent and now so many stories are circulating. I said to myself, I have to talk. I have to defend myself. I have to fight for myself because I knew that no one would. “

In general, Gumabao hopes that people will be more responsible online.

“I would also like to remind everyone that we must stop criticizing, stop spreading lies and negativity. It doesn’t mean that even if we are free to speak our minds and from our hearts and share our passion for a certain topic, it’s okay to knock people down just because we feel bad, ”he said.

“I just hope that people have allowed me to accept my destiny and destiny on my own terms and I just hope that there are things that I shouldn’t have heard. I hope I never heard them. Because accepting failure is one thing, but mixing it with uncertainty and doubt is another, ”said Gumabao.