[ad_1]
This is the story of two Kiwi women.
They are both strong matriarchs who would do anything for their families.
They have both selflessly cared for a dying loved one.
They have both lost someone they love to cancer.
However, despite their similarities, they have at least one important difference.
When it comes to end-of-life election legislation, one votes no, the other yes.
Heather gregory
Heather Gregory was ready for one last night at a school function before becoming her husband’s full-time caregiver.
She had been working as a part-time teacher, but was willing to give Richard her full attention.
He was diagnosed with liver cancer in the early 2000s and over the past 12 months his health had deteriorated.
While he was on the night of the exam, he had a really horrible feeling. Something was wrong.
He texted his kids and before he could hang up the phone, it rang.
It was his daughter. Her husband was dead.
—–
“He had 10 good years with a diagnosed cancer, in reasonably good health. But then the tumors in his liver were releasing hormones that damaged his heart.” Heather says.
In the end, he was a very sick man: the forensic report included a full page of his injuries.
“It was a horrible way to live. He wasn’t himself and he didn’t feel in control.” Heather says.
The afternoon that she chose to end her own life, she was sleeping on the couch and when she woke up she found that she couldn’t sit up.
“He felt really trapped in his own body and that gave him a huge scare.”
“That afternoon we took him out to the garden, into the sun, and he was talking to my youngest son about death.”
That night, three of his five children found their father’s body.
Heather arrived just before the police arrived.
In a way, she did manage to be with him in the end, even if it wasn’t as she had imagined.
Instead of sitting there saying all the things you would say to your 28-year-old partner, the father of your five children, like, ‘You are loved, we will miss you,’ I was saying, ‘You were supposed to wait for me. be it so. ‘”
She describes it as tragic. Unexpected.
“It was a total disaster, and a bill like this would just stop it.”
“Richard may have known that when the time came we could choose the time, the place and the people around him. He could have died a peaceful death.”
“He wrote in his note that he was scared. He was scared at the end and we shouldn’t be. Hospice can only take away so much of that fear. But this bill can take away much more of that fear.”
He had thought he was doing the right thing.
“Unfortunately it was something wrong,” he said, “I still live in the house where he did it, they are constant memories. We had the forensics, the police involved … If we had the end of life.” [Choice] Bill, the whole process could be loving, compassionate. We could have had a great goodbye instead of the guilt and doubt and all the mess left behind.
“He had to do what he had to do while he could still do it. So he seized the opportunity: he knew I was not going to leave his side.”
He doesn’t wish it on any other family.
“I would feel very guilty if I sat down and didn’t do my best to get her story out so that people could see that some people need this.”
Heather Mason
Heather Mason’s son, Braden, was 6 1/2 when their lives turned upside down.
He woke up one shaky morning and kept saying, “I can’t walk, Mom.”
That’s when Braden was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called ependymoma.
A team of doctors gave him less than six months to live.
But, 15 years later, Braden had done all the things he wanted to do.
Although tumors in his spine left him paraplegic, he swam, jet ska, rode a quad and even drove a race car before dying at age 21 in March of this year.
“He always chose life, even though life was very difficult for him.” Heather says.
—–
“Every time we went to the hospital, Braden would say ‘I don’t want to die, Mom, I don’t want to die,'” Heather recalls.
Long days of hospital visits were met with equally long nights singing by Braden’s bedside to ease his anxiety as he struggled to fall asleep.
“He was a very brave young man. He didn’t let anything get in his way.”
The doctors were so impressed that they finally stopped saying how much life he had left to live.
“He kept defying all the odds.” Heather says.
In 2014, the family visited Christchurch Hospital and asked a specialist for another medication to help with Braden’s anxiety.
“It was through the roof, nobody knew how to deal with it. He had so many other complex problems that when they gave him medicine … he went into a coma for 24 hours.”
“They said, ‘I’m sorry, but it’s time I said goodbye to Braden.’ And again, against all odds, Braden came back to us, “he says.
But, Heather admits, life was not easy.
“Yes, he openly admitted that life was difficult. But he would not have chosen euthanasia. We talked about it and he said ‘I could never go that way.’
She remembers one night when Braden told her and her father Ray that he felt like a burden.
“We both broke down in tears and explained quite harshly, ‘Never think that, son.’ We said, ‘You are precious and it is a privilege to take care of you. We love you’.
“I think when loved ones say that, they need to be reassured that they are not a burden. That is one of the things that concerns me in this bill: people think their families would be better off without them. No human being It should feel like this.
In March of this year, Braden died at home in peace. He had those who loved him by his side.
“I hugged him and spent those last moments with him.”
Braden, aware of Heather, is the exception, not the rule.
“His doctor said at his funeral, ‘I don’t think I will ever meet another case like Braden’s in my life.’
But, she says, there could be more exceptions.
“Things can be comfortable for people. A lot of people could argue with that, and that’s okay too.”
The referendum
In this year’s general election, Kiwis can vote in a referendum on whether they support the 2019 End-of-Life Election Act.
If approved, only a New Zealand citizen or resident, over the age of 18, who is terminally ill would be eligible for assisted death.
Two doctors would have to assess whether death is likely within six months.
If there is a question about mental competence, there will be a referral to an independent psychiatrist.
If there is a majority of “yes” votes, the law will take effect at the end of next year.