The parents applied for a court order to prevent their disabled son from traveling abroad to meet a 56-year-old man

A desperate couple from Auckland obtained a court order to prevent their disabled adopted son from traveling to the United States to enter into a romantic relationship with a mysterious man more than 30 years older than him whom they had met online.

The son, who has been tested with an IQ of 40 and is believed to have fetal alcohol spectrum disorder, bought a one-way ticket and withdrew his life savings in preparation for the trip.

He was only three days away from leaving when the Family Court approved the emergency request in November, ordering that the man’s passport be confiscated to prevent him from traveling to Florida.

His parents say they blame Spectrum Care, which oversees the assisted living facility where the son resides, not only for not intervening and for helping organize flights, getting him to the bank and even packing his bags.

The couple have filed a complaint with the Health and Disability Commissioner about the case, alleging negligence.

Spectrum has defended its actions, saying the company is hired to help people make their own decisions.

People with “diminished competence” retain the right to make informed decisions about their lives.

The son’s adoptive mother told the Herald that he was a vulnerable person with limited intellectual capacity.

“It is a lot like dealing with a very young child.”

Although her son identified as gay, he had never had a real relationship that she knew about.

He made regular friendships online, but they usually ended quickly with being “abandoned and blocked on Facebook.”

The mother said her son appeared to be “well received” by men in their 50s and 60s.

His parents had fought hard for their son to have the support he has today. They feared that he might be sexually abused if he had traveled abroad to meet his new “boyfriend” Michael, 55, or if he would have ended up unsupported on the streets if the court had not intervened.

“We think it could end in some kind of sexual abuse. He really doesn’t know. He’s not a smart man.”

The couple adopted their son from an orphanage, but were not told that he had an intellectual disability.

The mother said her son had never had a suitable job. He had resided at the supported living center for the past four years.

Their son met Michael online around September of last year and the couple’s relationship quickly progressed to frequent phone calls and plans for their son to move to Florida to live with the much older man.

Alarmed by the proposal, the parents wrote to Michael informing him of their son’s significant intellectual disability and asking him to “slow things down.”

They also suggested that Michael travel to New Zealand after the pandemic to meet the family in person.

“We don’t know you, Michael. We are unable to judge your character,” they wrote.

“If things get ugly between the two of you, what will happen then?”

Michael responded, saying that his son was “an obligation for which you were not prepared.”

“I assume from your letter that you gave up [your son] Many years ago.”

Michael questioned his son’s low IQ assessment, claiming that he was a “smart young man” who would be safe with Michael, who assured the couple that he was “a good person.”

“You should know that [your son] he is not happy with his life in New Zealand. You will find a way out. Hopefully I don’t find the predator you guys have been manifesting. “

Alarmed by the upcoming trip and their son’s vulnerability, the couple asked Spectrum Care to intervene.

But they say the heads of Spectrum couldn’t help, claiming their son was an adult who had the correct understanding necessary to make his own decisions.

“We are not saying not to worry [your son] By going to the United States, we are not saying that we do not share exactly the same concerns that you have, “wrote a Spectrum manager.

However, Spectrum had developed “mitigation plans” to help his son access “personal networks” in the United States, the manager said, and the company did not support restricting his human rights.

The mother said that Spectrum workers helped her son organize his flights, took him to the bank to withdraw money and even helped pack his bag in preparation for the trip.

“If our son wanted to freely climb a steep ledge after watching Mission Impossible, would Spectrum Care help him buy climbing shoes and take him to a ledge?”

At their wits’ end, the couple turned to Adult Guardianship Services Trust Director Helen Peterson.

Despite Spectrum’s position, Peterson felt the man was at risk. He applied to the Family Court for an emergency personal order on behalf of the parents preventing him from traveling abroad.

The court appointed an attorney to represent his son. It endorsed the emergency request, which was granted on November 27.

Parents say their son has now turned against them. He blames them for keeping him away from the love affair he thinks awaits him abroad.

“He refuses to talk to us. He thinks we are evil.”

Peterson told the Herald that the son had a reading age of 7 or 8, could not tell time, could not do basic math, had a history of sexual assault and a limited understanding of money.

He said it was concerning that, although Spectrum had clear evidence that the son was a vulnerable man at extreme risk of emotional, physical, financial and sexual abuse, it was “not willing to support the family, nor to consent to a court order to protect him. “.

He said it was even more distressing that Spectrum was willing to allow a client with a severe learning disability, behavioral problems and limited money to travel to a Covid-19 hotspot to live with a man they had never met.

“This is assuming that he would even make it to his destination, given the logistics involved, his disability, his finances, his IQ and his age.”

The case highlighted the lack of legal protection for vulnerable adults “who need protection due to cognitive impairment.”

In a statement, Spectrum Care said staff expressed concerns to the son about his decision to travel, but they were ignored.

The company then suggested that the parents apply for welfare guardianship to prevent the son from traveling, but they say this was also rejected.

“From that point on, our obligation was to support the individual in his decisions and we worked with him to ensure that safeguards were in place for him while he was traveling.”

Spectrum Care was hired to help people make their own decisions, identify risks, and help mitigate potential harm.

If a person had diminished jurisdiction, they retained the right to make informed decisions and give informed consent, unless there was a court-ordered process that legally transferred the decision-making process to someone else, Spectrum said.

“There was no transfer of these decision-making powers during this time.”