Pet shelter petition: abusive partner threatened to harm pets to control it

Next year a shelter will be opened to take care of pets so that victims of family violence can flee without worrying about their animals being harmed. Today, the Herald supports the launch of the Pet Refuge Christmas Appeal to raise funds for the shelter’s operating costs.

Claire had suffered at the hands of a violent partner for 15 years before finding the courage to leave for good.

There were several things that prevented her from permanently running away from the relationship: the fact that she owned the house they lived in, the desire to try to protect the children and a grandson who came to visit them, and the fear of what he she would do with her pets if she did.

Grandma had many friends and family, but she would not have been able to take her dogs and leaving without them was not an option she was willing to consider.

“It was mainly my animals that kept me there and the fact that it was my own home,” he said.

“He tried to control me by being mean to animals and that happened all the time, once he threatened to kill the animals.”

Claire, who does not want to be identified, suffered in silence for many years.

“I didn’t want anyone to know how weak and stupid I was. I had nowhere to go, where I could take my cats and dogs with me.”

While there was physical violence – being grabbed by the throat in the hallway, thrown to the floor and held with her hands around her throat, beaten in a car – she said most of the abuse was emotional and involved constant put-downs, name calling. , criticism and threatening behavior.

“His actions towards dogs always had to do with control over me.”

The constant abuse left her “intimidated and cowering in a corner like an animal.”

“I was scared and never knew what state of mind I would be in. My only strength was ‘you could do that to me, but not to animals.’

Like many victims of family violence, Claire said the holiday season was horrible – her partner, a large man, was also worse when he had been drinking.

She spent most Christmas days sneaking into the bathroom and crying as the family celebrated in the living room, unaware of the threats and constant put-downs that he whispered in her ear when no one was looking.

She remembers one Christmas when they visited her family in another city.

He refused to let the dogs in, even though the family didn’t care, and instead tied them up outside.

When they didn’t stop barking, he came out and hit them.

“When he gave them the clues, I thought I was going to get sick … they were very, very traumatized,” he recalls.

“I knew at the time that if I had a place for my dogs to go, I would have gotten on a plane and come home and have the strength to say ‘you’re not coming back.’

That is why he supports both Pet Refuge and the holiday appeal launched today, which will provide temporary shelter for pets from violent homes.

“I support them so, so passionately because I know that it will make a huge difference for people if they are in a [abusive] relationship and having pets. “

Claire, who ended up being able to take the dogs with her when she left, said people often asked her why she put animal safety above hers.

“I guess they were like my children. They were a loved part of the family.

“I’d rather he crush me than crush an innocent life, be it an animal or a child.”

THE SHELTER

Pet Refuge will care for pets across the country so victims of family violence can flee at any time without worrying about their animals being harmed if they are left behind.

JUNE 2019: Herald readers helped raise $ 300,000 for indoor conditioning: things like a play area, an aviary, chew-proof beds, and kitty litter.

MARCH 2020: Construction begins. So far some 30,000 nails, 4,500m of wood, 457 square meters of roofing, 70 liters of paint, 7,650 bricks, 120 square meters of glass and 14,219 man-hours have been taken. With the shelter now fully lined, the internal conditioning is about to begin.

NOVEMBER 2020: Christmas Appeal is launched, with the goal of raising $ 200,000 for running costs.

MID 2021: Estimated opening date.

To donate visit www.petrefuge.org.nz or call 09 975 0850.

NEED HELP?

If you are in danger now:

• Call the police on 111 or ask your friends’ neighbors to call you.
• Run outside and go to where there are other people.
• Yell for help so your neighbors can hear you.
• Take the children with you.
• Don’t stop to buy anything else.
• If you are being abused, remember that it is not your fault. Violence is never okay

Where to go for help or more information:

• Shine, toll free national helpline from 9 am to 11 pm every day – 0508 744 633 www.2shine.org.nz
• Women’s shelter: the free national crisis line operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week – 0800 shelter or 0800 733 843 www.womensrefuge.org.nz
• Shakti: Provides specialized cultural services for African, Asian and Middle Eastern women and their children. Crisis line 24/7 0800742584
• Not OK: information line 0800 456 450 www.areyouok.org.nz
• For men who feel they are going to harm a loved one, call 0800 HEY BRO or 0800 439 276