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By Sam Wicks for ABC
As the lead singer of Shihad, Jon Toogood gained many fans by wearing his anti-authoritarianism on his sleeve.
Jon Toogood built a career as the lead singer for the rock band Shihad with songs steeped in atheism.
Photo: Supplied / John Toogood
“I was a staunch atheist … I had the impression that all people who believed in religion were fools,” he said.
In time, two terrorist attacks separated by decades would challenge him to fight with everything he held to be true, from family to faith.
Go back to 1988: Two heavy metal obsessed teenagers in Wellington are making a VHS tape. It is David Lynch’s adaptation of the science fiction novel. Dune, and Jon Toogood and Tom Larkin are glued to the screen.
The film is based on an epic battle scene called ‘Jihad’, taken from the Arabic word for fight. Confusing ‘Jihad’ with ‘Shihad’, the two companions decide that it is the perfect name to spearhead their rock ambitions.
Fast forward to the beginning of the new millennium and the friends are now longtime bandmates.
Shihad has released four critically acclaimed albums, played to audiences around the world and gained influential support from bands like Metallica and Faith No More.
Those rough patios gave them the opportunity to record a big-budget album in Los Angeles, and the band believed they had a good chance of breaking into the all-important American market.
Then it happened on September 11, changing the course of the world and the history of the band.
Shihad, photographed in 1995, took its name from a misheard phrase in the film adaptation of Dune.
Photo: Supplied
The Third World War has begun!
Toogood found himself in a hotel room watching the latest news that filled all the television stations.
“Tom says, ‘Turn on the TV, World War III has started!'” Toogood recalled of the terrorist attack on the Twin Towers in New York.
He said the band soon learned what it would mean for their future.
As the American national discourse descended to the ultimatum of the terrorists or you are with us from President George W. Bush, Toogood’s worst fears came true.
“We began to realize that our name is a bit like being called ‘Death to America.’
After fighting for 15 years to release a record in America, Shihad decided that they had to change the name of their band.
They were reintroduced as Pacifier, the title of one of his biggest songs.
“It was ironic,” he admitted.
“But it’s a terrible name for a band. Pacifier, what is that, a doll?”
The group released the album as Pacifier, but their fan base has dismissed the band’s name change as a sale.
Faced with an ever-present chant of ‘Shihad’ at shows, the band eventually regained their original moniker.
As Shihad stood his ground, Toogood’s marriage fell apart. It stabilized with startups, including a side project with a controversial name – The Adults.
At a party after a songwriting workshop, a Sudanese student was introduced.
“Her name was Dana. She was wearing a headscarf, so I thought she might be Muslim,” he said.
“And it was one of those moments in your life where you just say ‘oh, there you are.’
Dana Salih and Jon Toogood get married.
Photo: courtesy of Jon Toogood
Their relationship caused profound changes in Toogood’s life.
She had spent her music career voicing identity issues, but she had never had to question her belief system in the way her new relationship demanded.
“I remember saying to him, ‘Are you saying that if I want to marry you,’ which puzzled him a lot, ‘I have to convert to Islam?’ And she said, ‘Well, yeah.
“I have to question my entire belief system here.”
Taking a leap of faith
What followed was a period of intense self-reflection. He consulted his father, the Muslim converts, and most importantly, Dana herself.
“There was something beautiful about [Islam] because she was beautiful to me. So, she was the one who made me say, ‘There has to be something to this.’
“So, I’m going to take a leap of faith here and dive in.”
For a time, Toogood’s conversion remained something known only to close family, friends, and colleagues in the music industry.
This privacy was in contrast to the public platform he had previously used to broaden his views on organized religion.
Jon Toogood with his mother and Dana’s family
Photo: courtesy of Jon Toogood
When he and Dana were ready to speak to the media, they chose a New Zealand magazine to carry the story. But when news of the siege broke out at Sydney’s Lindt Cafe, he asked to have the piece removed.
With events beyond his control once again forcing his hand, Toogood kept his religion a personal matter.
He continued to expand beyond Shihad, writing a thesis on the music of the Sudanese culture that he had married, and began a secondary activity as a teacher.
Between classes on March 15, 2019, Toogood found his news feed saturated with reports of another shocking terror attack: a shooting inside Christchurch’s Masjid Al Noor mosque.
“I remember being so violently sad and angry, and extremely angry that that poison had finally seeped into the country that I grew up in, that I loved.
“At that moment I thought, finally, this is the environment … If there will ever be a time to talk about my conversion, it will be now.”
Jon Toogood spoke publicly about his conversion after the Christchurch terror attacks last year.
Photo: supplied
Just a month after the shooting, New Zealand music joined the Muslim community with the You Are Us fundraiser at Christchurch Stadium, with a local lineup that included Lorde and Marlon Williams.
Shihad and The Adults were on the bill, and Toogood arrived in Christchurch the day before the concert.
The week before, he had told the story of his conversion to a New Zealand newspaper, and Shihad’s first headlining spot would be his first since Toogood made his faith public.
But before joining his bandmates, he had an important pilgrimage to make.
“The people of [Al Noor] The mosque took me straight to the front, “he said.
“It’s a great sign of respect … the closer you are to the front, the closer you are to God.
“Part of the prayer is a movement called Sujud, where you touch the ground with your head. And it wasn’t until I did that I realized that this floor is covered in cardboard.
“And the reason it’s covered in cardboard is because underneath there is only blood; 51 people had been killed in this room.
“And it was at that moment that I started to cry … I was overwhelmed by the pain of being in that room.
“I had gone there to offer my support, to wrap my arms around them, and they ended up comforting me.”
Jon Toogood with Dana’s family.
Photo: courtesy of Jon Toogood
The following night, Toogood was preparing to face the crowds gathered at Christchurch Stadium when drummer Tom Larkin asked him what he was going to say to face the moment.
“I hadn’t even thought of that,” Toogood said. “We were going to play Pacifier, which is a song of hope and strength. And then we were going to end up with Home again … a song about home.
“And that’s what I came up with, and I think I said, ‘Home is not a place; it is the people who make the home. ‘
“I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t about me being on stage. It was about everyone in that stadium realizing that that’s not the world we want to live in, what happened at the Al Noor mosque. .
“The people who are trying to separate us, it’s all a sham, it’s not real.
“I know from first-hand experience that one of the best humans I’ve ever met turned out to be a Muslim. So that proves your theory that Muslims are angry and insular completely wrong. I know for a fact. I’ve lived it.”
– ABC
