James Weir: a lucrative gig we should leave to Pete Evans

It really came as no surprise when Pete Evans’ commercial sponsors ran faster than Rudy Giuliani’s boxed hair dye on a hot summer day.

The only puzzling thing was why it took so long to happen. The celebrity chef has been selling his unique brand of churros for years.

And after every scandal, which usually involved conspiracy theories or fake medical advice, we thought that was the end of it, but it kept coming back.

Getting rid of Pete Evans is like trying to get the garlic smell off your hands. Impossible.

Well almost.

Life Hack: Rubbing your hands with garlic in a stainless steel sink removes the odor.

Another life hack: Neo-Nazi memes eradicate wacky celebrity chefs.

I think I read those two tricks on a Kmart Mum Facebook group.

Pete shared the meme on Instagram this week and the reaction was quick. The since-deleted cartoon showing the neo-Nazi Black Sun symbol caused national outrage and, despite an apology and claims that he did not realize how offensive the image was, led to Paleo Pete’s massive abandonment.

His longtime editor, Pan Macmillan, left him. A number of backers followed, including several major retailers, as well as Coles and Woolworths.

What were you expecting when you posted the meme? That the fans comment “that’s me!” along with the crying laughing emoji.Obviously, Pete’s understanding of how memes work is as accurate as his understanding of modern medicine.

You are always surprised when people are surprised by what you do. Like when he said that he considers that the coronavirus is not a thing.

“I choose not to believe in that narrative because it doesn’t make any sense to me,” he said in a recent interview about why he thinks the spread of Covid-19 is false and I say the same to traffic guards when they try right. Me to park on the medium strips.

The meme bug also led to her role as a contestant on next year’s I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here being rejected, but this is the only kind of concert we should let her stick with. It’s where we finally get our payoff after years of putting up with Paleo Pete’s ridiculousness.

It has to be the right kind of show. No more of that My Kitchen Rules crap. Nothing where he is in control. Even I am a celebrity would have been too soft. It has to be SAS Australia.

Watching him go through the grueling military course is the final blow in his fall from grace. Yes, they would pay you a large amount of cash for it. But we just have to look beyond that and focus on the televised takedown that we might witness.

SAS celebrities have to endure harsh military training, live in prison conditions, and use a hole in the ground as a toilet which they then have to flush. The SAS soldiers are not going to give a flying activated almond on Pete’s paleo diet. They will make you eat white bread. WHITE BREAD. The positives already outweigh the negatives of giving you screen time.

There are professional athletes struggling to overcome the brutal course of the current series. One of them suffered hypothermia. There’s no way Pete, who subsists on birdseed and fruit and draws his energy from a weird $ 15,000 lamp, can stand this.

Eddie McGuire was speaking on his Triple M breakfast show about the chef’s rumored attachment to I’m A Celeb and the current trend of recruiting controversial figures, even convicted criminals, for reality shows.

“At what stage do you draw the line?” he asked, adding: “I don’t know, who is the moral arbiter of these things?”

Good question, Edward, and thanks for asking.

First of all, there are no lines on reality shows, so shut up and get on board because it’s fun.

And secondly, at SAS Australia, the moral arbiters are the soldiers who drag each celebrity into a concrete cell at 2am and interrogate them about all their past mistakes and controversies.

This year they gave us some of the best interviews we’ve seen in a long time when they mercilessly questioned contestants like convicted drug lord Schapelle Corby.

Many television journalists have tried to question Pete over the years, but they have nothing on these SAS soldiers. Drawn from Byron Bay and without his strange food, the guy wouldn’t stand a chance.

And it would be worth watching the soldiers get sick when Pete refuses to challenge them and says, “I choose not to believe that narrative because it doesn’t make any sense to me.”