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OPINION: I look forward to the end of the elections. I have spent almost five years of my adult life, and the deepest days of my grief, advocating for a change in end-of-life choice practices in New Zealand.
On October 17, we will find out if my wife Lecretia’s decision to speak out about the plight of the terminally ill was worth the sacrifice for her privacy and the time she had left on this earth, and if the End of Life Choice Law , what she and others fought so hard for, has come to pass.
MATT VICKERS
Matt Vickers and Lecretia Seales fought for New Zealand to legalize euthanasia.
In the last six months of her life, Lecretia made sure New Zealanders knew that some people suffer as they approach the end of their lives, despite the best efforts of palliative care.
She advocated for a better way. She investigated end-of-life practices in many parts of the world and concluded that a humane and compassionate society, like New Zealand, could and should offer assisted death.
READ MORE:
* MPs vote 69-51 to pass David Seymour’s end-of-life election bill
* Euthanasia Referendum: Terminally Ill New Zealanders on End-of-Life Choice Law
* Election 2020: What to do if your voting package has not arrived
* Widowed feather book of Lecretia Seales about her life and death
We are in an advanced voting period and I have already voted Yes in favor of the Election Act at the end of life. It was very satisfying to be able to mark Yes on that sheet of paper, in honor of my late wife. I hope other New Zealanders feel the same satisfaction when they too vote Yes on their ballots, whether it be for Lecretia, for themselves or for loved ones they knew who experienced an intolerable death.
Today, however, I want to highlight something that particularly worries me, which is New Zealand’s disgraceful record of suicide statistics. It is indisputable that we have a problem.
It has been a problem for years and many of us would like to address it, but have not been able to do so. By voting Yes on the End of Life Choice Act, we have a once in a generation chance to change our suicide statistics for the better.
Each year terminally ill New Zealanders commit suicide. That too is an indisputable fact. These suicides are lonely, violent and secret. The statistics represent real people who have left behind real families who have been traumatized by the way their loved ones died.
In 2014, Richard Gregory died at the age of 58 after a 10-year battle with cancer. Fearful of a slow and painful death, he took his own life, alone, violently and, as he wrote in his farewell note, scared.
Richard didn’t want to die. He was proactive in staying well and all he wanted was to improve. But when he realized that all he had left was suffering, he did the only thing he could to escape. He died earlier than he should because he was concerned that his physical deterioration was taking him out of control. No family should have to endure this kind of pain, ”says Richard’s widow Heather.
Ben Powels’ mother had a rare disease called progressive supranuclear palsy, but this was not what killed her. She was terrified of the long, painful and unworthy death that awaited her, and she decided to end her own life without telling her family.
“Mom didn’t want to die, but this disease was killing her mercilessly. She decided she didn’t want to live with the quality of life she was facing in the future, it wasn’t a life she wanted or needed or how she wanted to be remembered, ”says Ben.
These are just two stories. There are hundreds like them. By passing this law, we have the opportunity to dramatically reduce the number of these tragedies.
With the End of Life Choice Law in place, people like these would have the opportunity to talk to their doctors about their fears and hopes for the end of their lives.
In mentioning your wish for assisted dying, the doctor would first talk about pain management, counseling, and all other possible treatments as they are legally bound to do so under this law.
Having this conversation is already a better outcome than someone who secretly plans to commit suicide and doesn’t explore all their options and all their fears with a healthcare professional.
If a terminally ill individual decided to go ahead with assisted dying, and if after a long and exhaustive consultation process it was granted, they would experience immediate relief knowing they had some control over what was happening.
They would not be forced to make hasty decisions. And their families can participate in this part of their life’s journey, discussing their decision, until the moment they choose how they will die, either by letting the disease run its course or avoiding a period of suffering that is intolerable for them. they.
Most importantly, if they choose assisted death, they will be able to say goodbye to their loved ones without the risk of criminalizing their family. They would not be forced to choose between the prospect of a prolonged painful death or a lonely and violent death. Each time this outcome was avoided, we would have one less suicide statistic and one less tragedy.
MATT VICKERS / Supplied
Matt Vickers with Lecretia Seales in 2004.
In the weeks leading up to his death, my late wife, Lecretia, wrote these words:
“I am not afraid of dying, but I am petrified by what may happen to me before I die. My biggest fear is losing my mental faculties. As for me, if I get to a point where I can no longer recognize or communicate with my husband, then for all intents and purposes, I will already be dead. “
“Why chain the process of dying really? Why can’t we make informed decisions regarding the timing and manner of our death so that death is as pleasant a process as possible?
“I believe that it is a fundamental human right to choose to die when life becomes intolerable due to the effects of a terminal illness. I’m not sure I would be able to exercise that right if I had one, but at least I should have the option. “
Please allow the terminally ill the freedom of choice this month to hear fewer heartbreaking stories like those from Richard and Ben’s mother, and give us the opportunity to have a profound and measurable impact on reducing suicide statistics. of the terminally ill in New Zealand.
The status quo is not right. Vote Yes for the option at the end of life and let’s make a real difference.
Matt Vickers is the ex-husband of Lecretia Seales and spokesperson for Yes for Compassion.
Where to get help
- 1737, do you need to talk? Call toll free or text 1737 to speak with a trained counselor.
- Anxiety New Zealand 0800 ANXIETY (0800 269 4389)
- Depression.org.nz 0800111757 or text 4202
- Kidsline 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.
- Life line 0800 543 354
- Mental Health Foundation 09 623 4812, click here to access your free resource and information service.
- Rural support trust 0800 787 254
- Samaritans 0800 726 666
- Suicide Crisis Helpline 0508 828865 (0508 SUPPORT)
- Supporting families with mental illness 0800 732 825
- thelowdown.co.nz Web chat, email chat or free text 5626
- What happens 0800 942 8787 (from 5 to 18 years old). Telephone counseling available Monday through Friday from 12:00 PM to 11:00 PM and on weekends from 3:00 PM to 11:00 PM. Online chat is available from 3 PM to 10 PM daily.
- Youthline 0800 376 633, free text 234, email [email protected], or find online chat and other support options here.
- If it’s an emergency Click here to find the number for your local crisis assessment team.
- In a life-threatening situation, call 111.
