Daniela Elser: the queen’s silence on the news of Meghan’s miscarriage

OPINION:

Buckingham Palace has a ghost problem.

Since the last season of The Crown launched this month, the spectral force of Diana, Princess of Wales and all their misery and suffering has been haunting the royal family and the Queen.

So there is a certain horrible symmetry that more than 20 years after Diana’s death and at a time when her shadow looms over the monarchy, the House of Windsor is once again failing dramatically when it comes to a wife. real, loss and spill. of public emotion.

A brief review: In the hours and days after Diana’s death, the Queen resolutely stayed at her Scottish holiday home, Balmoral, and did not return to London. He also refused to allow the Buckingham Palace flag to fly at half mast. The protocol at the time was that the flag was only flown there when the Queen was in residence, so since it was in Scotland, there was no flag. In the end, she relented and now the Union Flag (unlike the Royal Banner) is regularly seen in the Palace, even when the Queen is not there.

But it was the queen’s myopic adherence to protocol at the time that was completely out of step with public sentiment, and tens of millions of Britons were appalled by her seemingly insensitive response to the tragedy.

As the nation wept en masse, with a nationwide display of pain the likes of which had never been seen before, the Queen stubbornly stuck to the precedent and faced dire consequences. His terrible misinterpretation of state of mind and prioritizing customs over comforting his people put the monarchy in the greatest danger in a century.

Today, this sad chapter in royal history is repeated in the wake of the revelation by Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, that she had experienced a miscarriage earlier this year. Writing in The New York Times, the royalty revealed the loss of their baby, saying, “I knew, as I hugged my firstborn, that I was losing my second.

“Hours later, I was lying on a hospital bed, holding my husband’s hand. I felt the wetness on his palm and kissed his knuckles, damp from our tears. Staring at the cold white walls, my eyes turned glassy. I tried to imagine myself how we would heal “.

It is a powerful, eloquent and raw piece that marks a radical break with the real status quo.

While news of Meghan and Harry’s duel has been kept under wraps since it happened in July, it was reported that the royal family was informed of the Sussex miscarriage at the time it happened, and a source from the Palacio told People: “There is a lot of sadness around the family.”

So what about the Palace? How have they reacted publicly? What outside support have they shown Harry and Meghan at this painful time?

Nothing, nothing, nothing.

All they have offered through their official communication channels is a cold, harsh, horrible silence on this subject.

As of this writing, and in the 15 hours since Meghan’s story went online, the Queen’s account @RoyalFamily has marked the International Day to End Violence Against Women with multiple posts; Prince Charles and his wife Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall, @ClarenceHouse, have shared a video of the Duchess in her capacity as a sponsor of the domestic abuse charity Safe Lives, and the Twitter and Instagram presences of @KensingtonRoyal, William and Kate Duke and the Duchess of Cambridge have not shared a thing.

Not fully and absolutely in any external way acknowledging the pain Meghan has just shared with the world is simply unnerving.

The incredibly well-connected Tom Bower of the Daily Beast has reported: “Queen Elizabeth’s office said it would not comment on the” deeply personal “issue. Prince Charles’ spokesman said he would not comment on the” private “issue. Prince William’s office said it would not comment. “

Bower also reports that Meghan discussed the article with the Queen and Prince Charles before writing the deeply moving personal essay, therefore it is not as if Buckingham Palace and Clarence House are shocked and are currently trying to figure out the best way. to respond. .

I mean, what excuse can they have for remaining so decidedly silent in the face of a torrent of public sentiment?

Privately, Her Majesty could have written Meghan a deeply moving card, arranged for her to be bombarded with her favorite flowers, and sent an edible arrangement that read ‘I’m so sorry’ in organic guava, but that doesn’t for a moment make up for the silence. from their official channels.

Now, 23 years after Diana’s death, the Queen and the Palace seem not to have learned one iota about how to handle royal personal tragedies and instead sadly cling to the century-old rule book, metaphorically speaking.

The danger here for the monarchy is that their abhorrent handling of this situation only serves to underscore their worst qualities and only reinforces the image of them as a group of callous and emotionally stunted morons who are deeply disconnected from our shared reality.

It took the royal family years to recover from the Diana debacle and yet here they are repeating exactly the same mistakes. Deja vu anyone?

Compounding this terrible situation is the reaction of social networks. While much of Twitter and Instagram, even those accounts that are traditionally staunchly anti-Meghan, have unleashed a wave of support and heart emojis, there are still many people who have reacted to the duchess’s revelations with skeptical, abhorrent theories of conspiracy and even speculation that the 39-year-old only disclosed her miscarriage to improve public relations.

That even in a moment of so much vulnerability and pain, the actress-turned-royalty faces such hatred is both horrendous and deeply predictable.

So far, several accounts dealing at a steady rate of deeply critical Sussex posts have suggested: Meghan posted the story to compete with William and Kate’s recent announcement about the death of their dog Lupo; that the Sussexes’ son, Archie, was born through a surrogate mother, so it was the surrogate mother who aborted; that Meghan had made up the story to generate sympathy and, be prepared, that the story was completely fictional and was in fact partially based on the Steel Magnolias plot.

It may all be crazy, but surely that doesn’t take away from how cruel and hurtful this reaction is.

Meghan surely would have known from publishing this article that one consequence would be to unleash exactly this kind of virulent, loud and obnoxious anti-Sussex nonsense, and yet she did it anyway.

Beyond that, it also goes to show, once again, that when it comes to the Duchess of Sussex, women are doomed never to win.

Say what you want about Meghan but she has guts. Serious guts.

At this point, I’m not sure the same can be said for the Queen.

Under normal circumstances, Her Majesty could be almost universally adored, the Commonwealth’s head of state grandmother, who looks like a gnome and loves lime green, but at times like this, when more is expected of her, she jeopardizes her legacy.

Meghan’s situation begs the question: do we still want to hold on to an institution so devoid of feelings and so disconnected from community sentiment? Which one prioritizes custom over displaying even the most basic levels of empathy and humanity?

Courtiers are said to be concerned that when the 94-year-old sovereign passes away and Carlos ascends the throne, a wave of republican sentiment will unleash across the Commonwealth that will see country after country decide to sever ties with the monarchy. After this week, I would say that you have every right to be concerned.

• Daniela Elser is a real expert and writer with over 15 years of experience working with several of Australia’s leading media titles.