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OPINION: Well, just when you thought that you could finally cleanse yourself of High school, with Lexie and Hamish leaping into the sunset, we’re back where we started, this time with a brand new season of The Bachelor. Here we go again.
And it started with fire. Not literally, but Sabby, the first single we met this season, made a fiery entrance when she invited Moses, our eligible bachelor, to share a chili with her “to spice up your life.” I instantly fell in love with this absolutely chaotic entrance. Narrator Jodie Rimmer (she’s back! The moment I heard her first breakup line, I knew we were back in good hands) said she thought the chocolates would have been enough, but Sabby is clearly not satisfied with that nonsense. boring. It even came prepared with a glass of milk that saved his life! Legend alert. I just hope for the sake of both of you that it wasn’t a Birds Eye.
Wait, did you say Moses …? Yes, Moses Mackay! Our new bachelor is the extraordinary classical singer and radio host Moses Mackay, one-third of Sol3 Mio (pronounced sole mio, not sol-threemio like me, like the dumb bitch that I really am, I once thought). I totally agree with him being our bachelor this season; he’s stupidly handsome, he seems sweet, caring, funny, and charming, and I’m glad we have a creative spirit in the lead role for this season; This franchise generally seems to lean towards the sporty types, who honestly go overboard on screen. time in New Zealand already. We hope that Moisés uses his platform to highlight Aotearoa’s incredible art scene.
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So after Sabby, we had … the usual arrival frenzy, which is overwhelming for the viewer, much less for the Bachelor himself. Some memorable ones were …
Niki, who seemed to slip right into the good books of Moses by giving him a rose quartz, which Moses loved because he also likes crystals. This is a fun thing to bond with, but not enough to maintain a relationship, but I’ll be holding more judgments for now. My first impression of Niki is that she is an absolute hunter – a scan of her bio reveals that she is incredibly smart (she is a forensic investigation scientist and a wedding celebrant), wonderfully charismatic, and that she has graced our screens before in The Block NZ. She received a pink first print, and I am personally awarding her the best hair. What bright curtains!
Lou It seems like sheer joy that requires incredible strength and endurance considering what has happened. Lou lost his partner in a car accident four years ago, the day after he had proposed to her, which is incredibly heartbreaking, but you wouldn’t know from the smile on his face. I am excited to see more of her!
Kayla, who sang a song that he had written on the ukulele. Kayla’s voice was good, but the song sounded bad because I don’t think she was singing in the right tone, but in all honesty, who cares: I think we have another legend on our hands. Nothing made me miss Aotearoa more than hearing Kayla ask, “Is it a singah?”
Freya, a nurse, who listened to her heart on the red carpet, which I thought was a very cute way to show off her profession and make a one-time love joke. (I also feel sentimental towards health workers because I live in London and they have been through hell in the past year.)
And lastly, Shivani, who brought a pineapple for no reason, which I applaud.
How was the rose ceremony? Cruelly, we didn’t see who went home in this episode, but I think Moses made some good decisions with his first roses, keeping people like Cirrus, Shenae, Kimi, and others who seem like good people. We’ll find out who will be the first four to go home tomorrow!
The Bachelor continues Wednesday on TVNZ 2 at 7.30pm.