Four words that condemned Meghan Markle’s relationship with royalty

COMMENTARY

Prince Harry made a misstep when he said these four words, but three years later they have taken on a whole new meaning.

At the end of 2017, only two words mattered to any royal obsessive that their Dresden porcelain was worthwhile: Royal. Wedding.

Prince Harry’s relatively dizzying courtship with actress, businesswoman and activist Meghan Markle had ended with the duo grinning with a deux in the sunken garden at Kensington Palace as they proudly displayed the diamond engagement ring they now hold in their hand. left.

For every courtier and palace mandarin his Gieves & Hawkes tailored suit was worth, it was a glorious time. The royal ranks were about to welcome the most seductive addition to HRH-dom in decades (yes, Kate, the Duchess of Cambridge, is charming, but not in the same league when it comes to dazzling).

The face of the monarchy was now a thirty-something Windsor quartet, all energized and full of energy to do good, ready to propel the monarchy into the 21st century. Huzzah, get the good custard out, Jeeves!

However, in late December of that year, after Meghan had enjoyed (if that verb even applies to a holiday that requires five outfit changes a day) her first royal Christmas at Sandringham, Harry edited the flagship show Today for BBC Radio.

In what would be an unfortunate precedent, her impressive work, including an interview with Barack Obama, was largely overshadowed by a personal revelation, in this case stating that her fiancé had a great time during the holiday period with the Windsors, that they were the “family he never had.”

The outcry was immediate on social media and cackling British columnists were quick to point out that the prince’s words were a bit hurtful to his parents, his mother Doria Ragland and his father Thomas Markle. (By this time, Thomas’s fondness for hosting paparazzi photo shoots and willingly ratting out his daughter to the tabloids had yet to begin.)

Within a few weeks, the little blunder was seemingly forgotten – after all, a love-soaked display of exuberance wasn’t in the same boat as heading to a fancy party dressed as a Nazi. If Our Harry was happy, who cares if his trainer foot occasionally ended up in his mouth?

Yet three years later, in light of the events at Megxit, those four simple words – “family he never had” – can be read in a whole new light.

The unspoken implication seemed to be that Meghan had, and would continue to, fit into the Windsor house.

As Harry himself said about his future wife during his engagement television interview: “For me, he is just another member of the family. He is another team player as part of the bigger team.” After all, there is no ‘me’ in royalty, right?

Looking back, however, what comes into focus is that, outwardly, it seemed almost universally expected that she would happily fit into the family structure and working apparatus of the palace. After all, actual spouses are expected to contort to fit the actual mold and not the other way around.

The prevailing collective assumption was that Meghan should be grateful that she was given entry into such a rarefied world, and thus be willing to give up the qualities, values, habits, and passions, whatever it takes, that she can appreciate in such a way that she is absorbed smoothly in HRH-dom.

And therein lies one of those pivotal sliding door moments where, if someone had had a shred of foresight, things could have turned out differently and today Harry and Meghan could be happily settled in Frogmore Cottage instead of busy lining up guests. podcasting and investing in a vegan latte business.

It was about a woman who had already addressed the UN and had made international charity trips to Rwanda and India as a Global Ambassador for World Vision. Meghan came to royal life with fully formed charitable interests and considerable experience with this type of work.

So why, in those first weeks and months before Sussex’s wedding, did no one seem to realize that Meghan was not a Henrietta or Araminta who associated the word “charity” with “ball”, could she ride to the dogs and think that Ban? Ki Moon was a Thai take out option?

When Kate Middleton made the same transition from civilian life, she reportedly followed suit, relying heavily on her new husband’s advisers and taking lessons from voice coach Anthony Gordon Lennox (who also worked with the British Prime Minister David Cameron) to be confident in his public speaking.

What seems to have overlooked the palace apparatchiks was that Meghan was an entirely different game.

In those heady days leading up to the wedding, instead of taking her career and experience into consideration, the palace simply sent the Duchess on what amounted to her basic course in “royal outings for beginners.”

Wave. Smile. And repeat.

As Crown consultant and veteran royal biographer Robert Lacey put it last year: “There is only one self-made millionaire in the royal family and that is Meghan Markle. If they would have sat down with her at first and said, ‘ Let’s talk about the things that interest you. ‘Things could have been different.

“They just sent her to see the Queen open the Mersey Bridge. There’s nothing wrong with that, but they made the mistake of dealing with the spare’s wife thinking she was just routine royalty. It was never going to be routine royalty. .. “

Similarly, a former courtier told the authors of Finding Freedom that Meghan “came to this job as a fully grown adult, having already lived a third of her life. She is a Californian who believes she can change the world. She creates her own. brand, create your own website, do business. Talk about life and how we should live. “

That no one fully realized, or at least acted accordingly, the fact that by dint of the life experience that he brought with him. Meghan’s arrival was to innately demonstrate that a healthy challenge to palace orthodoxy is staggering.

In hindsight, the idea that the Duchess, a woman who has shown time and again impressive personal courage and strength, would meekly line up seems incredibly naive on the part of the palace.

What remains so irritating is that there has never been a royal recruit like Meghan before, but it seems that few concessions and substantial adjustments were made to the status quo to suit her talent, professional experience or vision.

To be fair, the blame for how spectacularly the Sussex dream was derailed cannot be attributed to the so-called “Men of Gray.” Freedom and numerous reports have alleged that hierarchical tensions and turbulent family divisions also figured prominently in the Duke and Duchess’s decision to exit.

But still, every time I think of Megxit, what I can never forget is how much the monarchy lost when she and Harry left. Sure, they would never be king or queen unless something unspeakable happens, but their energy, enthusiasm, and passion would surely have gone a long way toward reinforcing the royal family’s brand and image.

Meghan was basically a square peg designed by Givenchy that they tried to drive into a round hole.

Fools.