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Ron and Fabian Eckstrom-French had to adopt their own children while living abroad to bring them home to New Zealand, in a case that uncovers the discriminatory pitfalls surrounding the country’s surrogacy laws.
The couple became the father of twins born through a surrogate while they lived in the United States six years ago.
Both men fertilized the eggs carried by the surrogate mother, which were from an egg donor.
After a strict legal process in the United States, they were marked as parents on the children’s birth certificates from the moment they were born, costing them around $ 30,000 in legal fees.
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Fabian has New Zealand and US citizenship and Ron is a permanent New Zealand resident and US citizen.
But the couple were unable to obtain Kiwi passports for their children because New Zealand did not recognize them as legal parents.
DAVID BLANCO / THINGS
Ron and Fabian Eckstrom-French had twins through a surrogate in the United States six years ago. Despite being her legal parents, they were not recognized as her parents in New Zealand.
According to the rules here, the legal parents were the surrogate mother and her partner.
To change this, the two men needed to bring the children home on a temporary visa and go through the adoption process here, including proof that they were fit parents.
The couple found this insulting, degrading, and impractical. They tried to apply through a “unique circumstances” section of the citizenship law, but were turned down twice.
In principle, they refused to undergo a process in which they had to prove they were fit parents, so they found a more pleasant and less complicated way.
Their American lawyer said that they could adopt the children of themselves, since they were parents legally in the United States, so they would eventually be recognized as parents in New Zealand as well.
This cost them another $ 7,000 in legal fees, but it worked, and the children obtained citizenship in January.
The family moved to New Zealand in September.
DAVID BLANCO / THINGS
New Zealand’s “outdated” surrogacy laws are degrading and backward, the couple believe.
“It was shocking to us because New Zealand has a reputation for being really progressive and, in general, the mentality of people is progressive,” said Ron.
“But the laws are really out of date.”
The two dads are among those calling for an urgent change in New Zealand’s surrogacy rules, which they say are degrading and cause financial and emotional distress.
Last week, the Legal Commission began a review of surrogacy laws, commissioned in July by then-Justice Minister Andrew Little.
The overhaul was one of Labor’s pre-election promises as part of its “rainbow” policy to remove discriminatory practices from adoption and surrogacy rules.
An earlier review by the Law Commission in 2005 found an urgent need for specific legislation on surrogacy. This recommendation was accepted in principle by the government but to date no changes have been made.
Surrogacy is when a woman agrees to become pregnant and give birth to a child on behalf of another person or persons who will raise it.
Lawrence Smith
Surrogacy is accepted by most New Zealanders, but the laws remain problematic. (File photo)
Things spoke with a dozen people, including prospective fathers, egg donors and surrogate mothers, who said laws must change to make it easier for gay couples and couples with fertility problems to become fathers.
Despite being “very private people,” Ron and Fabian had such a hard time that they felt compelled to tell their story.
In 2015, the children were brought home to spend Christmas with their New Zealand family.
They received a letter from Immigration New Zealand (INZ) during the trip informing them that they had broken the law by bringing two unaccompanied minors into the country.
“The underlying message was that we are abducting our own children and that the authorities could take over custody of those children,” Ron said.
“It was completely insulting. New Zealand is the only country we’ve been to where we had a problem. Most of the other countries in the world recognize us as the fathers of children. “
The couple called INZ and told them that they would be fine as long as they were only visiting, but that they couldn’t move here without adopting their children.
THINGS
What began as an “internet friendship” has grown into a close bond between two families now united through surrogacy. (Video first published in May 2020)
The stress meant that when they flew to Auckland for another family visit the following year, none slept through the 15-hour flight, worried that they would be turned away upon arrival.
“The New Zealand government says [strict surrogacy rules] they are to protect women from being taken advantage of.
“I don’t even understand that. We did not go to the suburbs of India. We spend more than a quarter [of a] million dollars to complete the process. We are friends with them (the substitutes).
“They are educated, professional women with their own children and examined by psychologists,” said Ron.
Australia, the UK, the US, and many European countries have more lenient surrogacy laws, which make it easier and less expensive for gay and infertile couples to have a child through a surrogate.
University of Canterbury associate professor Debra Wilson, who has led a group investigating surrogacy, said the practice was accepted by most New Zealanders, but the laws remained problematic.
She surveyed 600 kiwis: 54 percent approved and 30 percent did not object.
John Kirk-Anderson / Stuff
Amira Mikhail published a book in 2017 called Mission to Motherhood, which reveals her battle with endometriosis, infertility, miscarriage, IVF, and ultimately successful surrogacy.
The survey asked who should be the legal parents of the child born after surrogacy.
Only 10 percent said the surrogate, and more than 50 percent said the intended parents.
When asked what the courts should do if the surrogate changed her mind and wanted to keep the baby, only 16 percent thought the court should award custody to the surrogate mother.
Wilson said New Zealand had “fallen behind” in most similar countries and needed to catch up.
“Parents should bond with their new child, not spend the child’s first year stressed by adoption or parental rights.”
Current rules prevent prospective parents from giving money to the surrogate mother, even for maternity clothes and other expenses directly related to the pregnancy, which can add stress to all parties, he said.
Wilson agreed that the current rules are outdated, degrading and stressful, and said the judges made similar comments in the adoption requests.
“If the law makes it too difficult to enter into a surrogacy arrangement in New Zealand, people will just go abroad and that creates more problems.”
Currently, surrogacy arrangements are not illegal but cannot be enforced. Intended fathers cannot pay surrogate mothers or egg donors and have to adopt the children after they are born.
In 2005, the Law Commission recommended a change to allow parents to apply for a parenting order before the child’s birth. The government agreed in principle, but nothing has changed since then.
Deadlines for the review are still being finalized; will consult with the public next year and welcome input from people with personal experience in surrogacy.
A New Zealand Immigration spokeswoman said Kiwis living abroad and visiting this country for a short time with their children born through surrogates “need to show that the children have been adopted by them.”
“This is because New Zealand must meet its obligations in relation to stopping the irregular movement of children across borders.
“The adoptions must be legal adoptions recognized in New Zealand (but not necessarily a New Zealand adoption).”
