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UNSPLASH
A man abused while in a Catholic boarding school in the early 1950s says he is not convinced that the church’s approach to dealing with abuse has changed at all. (File photo)
This story was originally published on RNZ.co.nz and republished with permission.
A man abused while in a Catholic boarding school in the early 1950s says he is not convinced that the church’s approach to dealing with abuse has changed at all.
Mr. F, 81, did not tell anyone about the abuse he suffered for 49 years.
On Tuesday, he testified before the Royal Commission of Inquiry on Abuse in Care.
At age 14 and in his first year at St Patrick’s College in Silverstream, he was groomed by the rector, Father Frank Durning.
He said that after a few weeks, Durning called him into his office and sexually assaulted him.
“When I was inside, he grabbed me. This was despite my attempts to stop him with my knees and elbows. He got more and more excited and repeated the words over and over again: ‘I don’t know what to do with you.’ The attack dragged on. for a long time. Finally he said, ‘Take it out and let’s have a look.’
Mr. F said he went from being a high achiever to feeling guilty, a failure, and low self-esteem.
He told how the scent of his abuser accompanied him for many years.
“From the moment of my abuse I could smell Durning and the smell did not leave me until 2002, 49 years later, when I reported my abuse to the Society of Mary.”
He estimates that in Durning’s 63 years as a priest he probably abused between 100 and 200 children.
When Mr. F’s own son started at another Catholic high school, he too was abused.
He confronted the abuser, who first denied it, but then broke down and soon dropped out of school.
“In fact, the brother was lucky not to be hit because my son had told other boys in the bedroom what had happened, and they were waiting for him to return. One to turn on the lights and the other had a baseball bat. lit up “.
Mr. F said that what happened to him did not define his life, although the abuse did impact his life.
“I did not experience the normal formative years of adolescence. I could not go to a public toilet for fear. When I joined a sports club I could not go off the field, undress and take a shower.
“My sense of anger at the invasion of my sexuality prompts me to report this abuse.”
Mr. F went through a lengthy process seeking reparation from the Catholic Church that he describes as traumatic and unsatisfactory.
He left without knowing if the abuse in the church would stop, he said.
“I am not sure that other children will not be abused in the institutions of the church. I am not sure that the church is taking care of the victims. I do not think that the church will make sure that what happened to me And my son doesn’t keep happening to others and it’s not happening yet. “
Mr. F wants transformative change in the Catholic Church.
“I still feel that children in boarding schools are at risk.”
He would like to see a helpline established outside of the school.
“A dedicated avenue that provides an independent way to ask for help.”
Mr. F believes that the Catholic Church has a sense of entitlement and that must stop and stop putting the church’s reputation above the people.
“The church has a responsibility to be open about the abuse that its members have been doing.”
He wants the Royal Commission to open all the archives of the church.
Mr. F wants the church to listen instead of shutting down and defending itself.
“The church has a responsibility to protect our children.”
This story was originally published on RNZ.co.nz and republished with permission.
