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OPINION: Although it is difficult to understand why, there has been a stark contrast in the way people have reacted to the news of a miscarriage suffered by the Duchess of Sussex and to those experienced by two other high-profile members of the royal family.
Meghan Markle revealed the devastating loss of her and Prince Harry in an op-ed for him New York Times, entitled The Losses We Share.
The purpose of the deeply personal essay was to encourage people around the world to ask the question, “Are you okay?”
It also served to let the world know about the couple’s pregnancy, which tragically ended in a miscarriage in July.
READ MORE:
* Zara Tindall paved the way for royalty to speak out about miscarriage
* Meghan Markle reflects on the ‘excruciating pain’ after suffering a miscarriage in July
* Why Meghan Markle decided to write about her miscarriage
* Prince Harry’s uncle Charles Spencer talks about Meghan Markle’s miscarriage.
* Meghan, Duchess of Sussex, reveals she suffered a miscarriage
Meghan writes about how the day “started as normally as any other day,” but when her son Archie’s diaper was changed, she felt intense pain.
“After changing her diaper, I felt a severe cramp,” wrote the Duchess of Sussex.
“I dropped to the ground with him in my arms, humming a lullaby to keep us both calm, the happy melody in contrast to my feeling that something was wrong.
“I knew as I hugged my first-born that I was losing my second.”
Meghan wrote about her miscarriage to inspire other women to speak out on a topic that many consider taboo, even though it is common around the world.
In Australia, up to one in four pregnancies end in miscarriage, and 85 percent of those occur in the first trimester (weeks one to 12). That rate is one in five developed countries.
The Duchess wrote: “In the grief of our loss, my husband and I discovered that in a room of 100 women, 10 to 20 will have suffered a miscarriage.
“Yet despite the amazing commonalities of this pain, the conversation remains taboo, riddled with (unjustified) shame and perpetuating a cycle of lonely grief.”
Matt Dunham / AP
The Duchess of Sussex has revealed that she had a miscarriage in July. Meghan described the experience in an op-ed in the New York Times. She wrote: “I knew as I hugged my first born that I was losing the second.”
So why have several people decided to verbally lash out at Meghan for sharing such a heartbreaking and personal experience?
Within minutes of the publication of Meghan’s article, malice began to appear. From “laugh” reactions on Facebook, to comments that don’t deserve a second mention here.
It’s hard to understand why, but there are some people who were happy with the news, while others were quick to blame the media for causing Meghan’s miscarriage.
Some even pointed the finger at the Duchess for writing the essay to garner some favorable headlines for her after keeping a relatively low profile after leaving her post as ‘a member of the working royal family’.
Surprisingly, there are people who believe in that motivation, instead of ignoring Meghan’s plea for people to be kinder to each other.
None of this reaction was apparent when two other members of the British royal family suffered pregnancy losses.
Supplied
Zara Tindall, husband Mike and daughter Mia
The queen’s granddaughter, Zara Tindall, experienced two miscarriages between the birth of her first and second daughters, Mia and Lena.
Sophie, the Countess of Wessex, lost a baby due to an ectopic pregnancy, and the birth of her daughter Lady Louise was traumatic to say the least.
Both women have spoken of their losses, though not in the same stark way as Meghan.
Zara has addressed her miscarriages in interviews with the BBC and The Sunday Times, saying for a while “you don’t talk about it because it’s too crude.”
“But as with everything, time is a great healer,” he told The Times in 2018.
The Olympic medal-winning equestrian experienced her first miscarriage in 2016, before Lena was born in 2018.
In a joint interview with his brother Peter Phillips, Tindall said: “For me, the worst thing was that we had to tell everyone, everyone knew.”
“I had to go through having the baby because it was so advanced.
“Then I had another very early miscarriage.”
Tindall praised her “concerned” husband and “protective” brother, saying, “It was a time when my family came to the fore and I needed them.”
The royal family had announced Zara’s pregnancy, adding to the pain the Tindalls must have felt when they lost the baby.
Chris Jackson / Getty Images
Sophie, Countess of Wessex, has previously shared her experience of losing an unborn child.
The Countess of Wessex collapsed at her home in 2001, and lost her unborn baby due to an ectopic pregnancy.
At the time, Sophie, who required hospital treatment, said, “I’m obviously very sad, but it just wasn’t meant to be. But there will be other possibilities.”
Her husband, Prince Edward, said at the time losing the baby like that “was the most painful thing anyone can suffer.”
Online trolls didn’t laugh at Zara and Sophie, or blame or accuse them of seeking attention.
Some have even said that Meghan New York Times The piece stands in stark contrast to her and Harry’s request for privacy, after they announced their need for “room to focus on the next chapter.”
These trolls have accused Harry and Meghan of hypocrisy for being so outspoken in wanting a life away from the fish tank that is the royal family.
9Honey royal commentator Victoria Arbiter said there were “different levels of privacy” and the Duke and Duchess of Sussex acknowledge this.
“Everyone has been talking today, ‘Well Harry and Meghan asked for privacy, why are they talking about this now?’ There are different levels of privacy. “They are interested in having a public role that helps people,” Arbiter told Today Extra.
“It doesn’t mean that they shouldn’t have an element of privacy in their life when it comes to personal matters.”
Kirsty Wigglesworth / AP
Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, has written a powerful and brutally honest account of her miscarriage in July.
The UK Telegraph Royal commentator Camilla Tominey suggested that Meghan’s admission could have dire consequences for her privacy case in High Court against the editors of a British tabloid.
Tominey revealed her own miscarriage experience in the piece for the first time and wrote: “I sympathize and sympathize with what the Sussexes have been going through.”
But he feared that “the core message is in danger of being lost” due to timing.
Tominey questioned why Meghan should reveal this now, speculating whether “it was prudent to do so in the middle of a privacy case.”
“The piece you wrote for him New York Times will only serve to further support the Mail on Sunday ‘defense that Meghan has repeatedly invaded her own privacy, “Tominey wrote in an article for The Telegraph.
“Describing how she saw her ‘husband break his heart as he tried to hold up the broken pieces of mine,’ she has revealed one of the most intimate moments of her own marriage.”
Tominey believes the duchess’s article “suggests that Meghan is more and more an open book than a closed one.”
“I’m afraid the central message is in danger of being lost, and the discussion now turns to whether it was about looking for good publicity when much of it has been so negative in recent weeks and months,” Tominey wrote.
“Trolls on both sides are now hijacking what should be a major debate on miscarriage and turning it into something shameful and sinister.”
She hits the nail on the head: the duchess has done something so brave and appalling that it does not give rise to criticism.
It was her decision, and being a smart woman who has lived in the public eye for many years, she would have weighed the pros and cons of doing so with input from Prince Harry.
Instead of nasty, anonymous people giving up their unwanted two pennies, these trolls should shut up and take Meghan’s advice: ask someone if it’s okay, because those few words can do a lot of good and have more impact than negativity. .
This story was originally published on Nine honey and republished with permission.
