Auckland couple die same day after 67 years of marriage

Their lives were intertwined years before they met, so it came as no surprise to their family when Desmond and Ruth Peate, who had been married for 67 years, died on the same day.

“I always knew that when one of them left, the other would go very fast afterward,” said their oldest son, Graham.

“It’s a blessing in a way that we didn’t have to tell one of them about the other’s death.”

Desmond, known as Des, was the first in the early hours of October 11 at Auckland’s North Shore Hospital.

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* Devoted husband and wife die the same day after 61 years of marriage.

Ruth followed him just before 9 p.m., probably unaware that her husband had died only hours earlier.

The Auckland couple married in 1953, but their lives were linked long before Des’s younger sister Phyllis corresponded with a young woman from the other side of the world.

In 1943, Ruth was living in Catford, London, when her school was hit by a German bomb, killing students and teachers. That day, however, Ruth, 10 1/2 years old, was sick at home.

Back in New Zealand, Phyllis and her classmates at Auckland Girls Grammar School learned of the tragedy. They decided to adopt Ruth’s school, Sandhurst Road School, and send food packages to the children.

Some of the food that came from the Peate family ended up going to Ruth and her family. The thank you note Ruth replied began a nearly decade-long correspondence with Phyllis.

When, eight years later, Des went to England to continue his studies, his sister told him to find his pen pal.

They invited him to have “tea,” which turned out to be his future wife’s 19th birthday party. It turned out that they worked three buildings from each other in the heart of London, so they ended up spending a lot of time together.

Des was in love, and shortly afterwards wrote in a letter home that he had met a “very friendly and bright” young woman.

“She has the cutest way of moving her nose and making faces, especially when forced to play the piano without decent music,” she wrote.

A year and a half later they got engaged and on July 11, 1953 they were married on a sunny day in Carshalton, Surrey.

They set sail for New Zealand on the RMS Rangitiki a year later to begin their life together.

“They were totally in love with each other, Dad was always taking care of Mom,” Graham said.

They had three children: Graham came first, then her sisters Jennifer and Heather.

Des, an engineer by profession, worked hard at everything he did, making sure he was able to provide for his family at all times, Graham said.

They soon bought a house in Takapuna, then Bayswater, where they lived until 1981, when Des’s work brought them first to Singapore, then to the UK.

While there, they entertained many travelers from around the world, including their children who were now in their operational environments, Graham said.

When Des retired in 1988, the couple returned to New Zealand and bought a hobby farm in Whangateau, near Matakana. Des had often said that if he hadn’t been an engineer, he would have been a farmer.

As a noted history buff and computer enthusiast, Des combined his hobbies in later years and digitized all the letters the couple had shared with their families and with each other.

He wrote each one down and compiled it into a small volume so the couple could look back.

Ruth spent much of her time worshiping her family, helping her community, playing the piano and doing crafts, Graham said.

They eventually moved to Stanmore Bay, until poor health meant Ruth had to move to a retirement village. Eventually, they both moved to Summerset Falls in Warkworth, where they lived their last years together.

A service was held at the Chapel of Faithful Funeral Services on the Hibiscus Coast and the couple was then cremated in a private ceremony.