The tragic death of Sophia Crestani: a family reflects a year after the horror of the Dunedin college party house

The knock on the door, the police standing there, the words that changed their lives forever, things that Sophia Crestani’s family will never forget.

And a year after the loss of the beautiful, talented, loving and beloved teenager, he still haunts his parents and his twin sister.

Sophia Michelle McMillan Crestani, 19, died on October 6 last year while attending a party in a Dunedin flat.

The night Sophia died, hundreds of people crammed into the Dundas St flat, a 114-year-old villa known as “The Manor.”

The event had been touted as the last party in management before it was taken over by the university.

When the number of attendees reached more than 300, the tenants called the police for help to close the party, as it was out of control.

Terrified students stampeded out of the house and Sophia was crushed on the stairs.

It was only after police arrived and cleared the way that rescuers were able to reach Sophia, but she could not be resurrected.

His parents Elspeth McMillan and Bede Crestani spoke to the Herald about the
tragedy, and the year that followed the loss of his beloved daughter, a twin sister of Frances.

“It’s been really tough,” McMillan said.

“Nothing prepares you for the loss of your son, your sister, your twin, especially when
They are 19 years old and they are becoming this beautiful young woman with so much life and potential ahead of her; gone.

“We really feel sorry for Frances, they were very close and she has lost so much, her best friend, her confidant and advocate.”

Sophia had moved from her hometown of Wellington to study mathematics and statistics at the University of Otago.

She was close to her family, who missed her every day.

McMillan said he missed Sophia’s “singing, clever laugh and beautiful smile” and the phone calls home more.

“She was always so cheerful and happy,” he said.

“His presence, his hugs. When I look back at the photos, he is almost always by my side.”

Crestani said that his daughter’s wisdom and maturity was a great loss to him.

“He had a way of teaching us a lesson when he had a different vision,” he explained.

“Usually we went out thinking she was right and we were impressed with how she did it. We had a lot to learn from her.

“Our family and friends also feel the loss and we care for them.”

The loss of “so much potential” also affected Sophia’s grieving parents.

They described her as “a brilliant young woman who had so much to give and experience in this world.”

Instead of giving what they had, they took everything.

The “folly” of how Sophia died was difficult to understand.

“She went to a party to have a good time and be with friends and she died,” her mother said.

“That is not right and more than 60 years of life will be lost. It is devastating to lose it.”

The family is starting to cope better, but they still struggle at times.

“Time makes it more real and senseless loss more difficult to accept,” McMillan said.

“I will never fully accept it and I will always keep a glimmer of hope in my heart that she will return to us.”

Crestani added: “It is not easier, but we have the support of family, friends, work and that attention makes it possible to move forward.”

Sophia’s family plan to mark the anniversary of her death in silence.

Together with members of their extended family, McMillan, Crestani and Frances will visit Sophia’s grave and then return home to share food and memories of “our beautiful girl.”

While the unfathomable tragedy continues to hurt them in ways most people could never imagine, Sophia’s family says there are positives that followed her death.

In July of this year, the family and the University of Otago launched The Sophia Charter, designed to improve the safety and well-being of the student community in Dunedin.

The letter is a shared commitment from Dunedin stakeholders, including New Zealand University, Police, Fire and Emergency, the Otago Real Estate Investors Association, Dunedin City Council and the University of Otago Student Association. .

The family has also established a scholarship in Sophia’s name at the university.

The Sophia Michelle McMillan Crestani Scholarship is for a sophomore studying mathematics and / or statistics, in which the teenager excelled from an early age.

“We want to see real change and more has been accomplished than we could have hoped for,” McMillan said.

“Sophia’s Letter is a living document with partners working closely together and has led to many changes.

“Some students were planning a street party and after meeting with the partners they decided not to go ahead.

“That is real and extraordinary courage on the part of these young people.”

The family said that along with the letter, the Otago UniCrew student volunteers organized another North Dunedin Street cleanup on their own initiative.

Real estate investors are working on meaningful change, and the police, university, city hall, and emergency services were working hard to educate students about the risks associated with big parties.

“It is truly impressive and encouraging to see everyone working together to keep North Dunedin’s students and community safe and a better place to live,” said McMillan.

“We are not angry, but we do not want this tragic loss to be in vain. We want to see change, and we have.

“We are encouraged by the good that is coming out of this tragic situation.

“We are very proud of what has been achieved thanks to the collaboration of the Sophia Charter partners … We are also very grateful for the generosity of so many people
and organizations in donating to the Sophia Michelle McMillan Crestani Scholarship. “

The scholarship has reached its endowment goal and will be perpetual starting next year.

“A second scholarship has been started in Sophia’s name for a sophomore studying any subject, which is progressing well, and an additional $ 15,000 is needed to make it a perpetual scholarship as well,” McMillan said.

“The generosity of people we don’t know, companies, friends, family, colleagues and others is a tangible way that shows how much they care.

“These scholarships will make a tangible and positive difference for future students.”

The family is also proud that Queen Margaret College, Sophia’s former school, is promoting an annual award on her behalf for the qualities of generosity demonstrated through kindness, brilliance and creativity.

“Many of Sophia’s friends and family have contributed to a student-instigated memorial seat for Sophia that is being set up in front of the university clock tower under a beautiful cherry tree. We are looking forward to spending time there, looking across from the River Leith and reflecting on all that Sophia loved about her time in Dunedin, “said her mother.

“I’m sure Sophia would be surprised, but she would also be very proud of what has been accomplished on her behalf and the difference that will be made on her behalf to other students at the University of Otago.”

McMillan and Crestani said their family had received “incredible” support during the past 12 agonizing months.

“Including messages of condolence from individuals and parents who do not even know who has been affected by this tragic accident and who have wanted to support what we are trying to achieve through the Sophia Charter and scholarships,” McMillan said.

“The support we’ve had has given us the strength to get up every day, wipe our tears, and continue to do everything we can to help students keep themselves, their friends, and their community safe so that no other parent has Than to experience that – a heartbreaking knock on the door that turns your world upside down forever. “

McMillan hoped that people would remember his daughter as she was before she died: a promising and special young woman.

“I want people to remember Sophia as the beautiful spirit that she was,” he said.

“His warmth, his smile, his creativity and his kind and caring nature – a beautiful wahine toa with its own spectrum of light.”

• If you would like to donate to the second scholarship in Sophia’s name to ensure other young students can benefit from her legacy, CLICK HERE