Mario Kart Live made my son a horrible monster


The poor man has already taken a little punishment.

Mark Cereals

The day before Mario Kart Live Arrived at my door, my 7 year old The soccer ball smashed our living room window. I didn’t see it, but I saw the damage. It costs 200 bones to fix the window.

I am a numb man in the carnage my two young boys brought into my life.

The oldest – Smasher of Windows – is more responsible for both. When it accidentally crashed into my PlayStation 4 Nintendo DS. I can at least feel remorse when I attach the cartridges or take a breather from my 200-hour long wild save.

– The annual is a completely different species. A brutal, combative agent of chaos. At this early stage of his life it is difficult to know if he feels even a single grief for the calamity he brings into my life every hour of every day. But it does the average version of Let It Go. At full volume. During every waking minute of my life.

But back to Mario Kart.

Mario Kart Live is a growing reality version of Mario Kart that transforms your living room into a racing track. Thanks to a well-configured camera, players can use a real remote control cart around their home Nintendo Switch, And the console will plug in at intervals with sc nscreen. Balm, your living room becomes a racetrack.

It’s a talented high concept, and its implementation is very Nintendo: agile, accessible and incredibly tactile. Build your own houses using your own furniture and transform that space into a literal Mario Kart track. Awesome!

Except it’s not wonderful. Because I know my own children. Anger, pain, destruction: I know what my path was. BEST-CASE SCENE: A living room full of plastic trash and lagoos I would fill any suspicious step.

Worst case: Too scary to imagine. At some point Mario will end up in the shower. That’s all guaranteed.

Things were going to get messy.

Driving around

I enjoyed how easy it was to set up Mario Kart Live.

After being shocked by the Nintendo Labs, which took me about four hours to build and 30 seconds to destroy, I initially expected work thanks to Mario Kart Live. Especially with two small children, sticky claws wrestle to see who is going first.

Wrong. We were driving a Mario remote-controlled car around our living room in minutes.

Creating a track in Mario Kart Live is a relatively simple affair. You place four cardboard “gates” at different points in your home, run a test to make yourself race and boom – you have a track. The software fills in the software blanks, giving you race opponents and items to choose from.

But in the beginning, you don’t even have to do that. In fact, my kids couldn’t give a shit about making the track alone. They just wanted to be driving around.

They hung around the screen, agile like hyenas, fascinated with the situation: in the house they lived in, they spun wheat-bikes on the kitchen table, from the chocolate stained couch they turned blue into a giant when they looked like zombies. Playground, and it was… fun.

For once, my kids weren’t fighting over the switch or trying to grab it from each other. They were playing in sync?

In my experience, the most augmented reality is sports, sort blergh And not everyone is sure. Pokemon Go is also the most successful ugly reality game ever, despite the AR features. I, like many players, play Pokemon Go with AR mode switch off.

Mario Kart Live is different. The suspension of distrust is evident in Mario Kart Live. The line between reality and what grows is blurred as I’ve rarely seen in this part of the game. It’s absolutely charming.

Mario Kart Live is on some Honey Shit the kids. It dramatically changes your perspective. Mario Kart Live puts you two inches off the floor and lets you zip around like a hyperactive gerbil in your own house. It’s hard to explain how much fun it is.

The discrepancy is compelling. Your sofa is skyscraper, with dining table chairs to explore the glorious pillars at speed. It sounds like hyperbole, but Mario Kart gives you a perspective on the spaces you are given, and it’s magical.

Which explains the constant kicking of children.

Creating tracks

Things got blurry when we started trying to create tracks.

We happily threw the doors at different points of the house, trying to make a skeleton out of what felt like a proper race. The game suggests that we hold the door with a book or something heavy. We used other video game controllers because we couldn’t find any books that didn’t definitely look at me in space reflecting my parenting priorities.


I had enough controllers to be able to minimize them all. Not enough books though. Tragic.

Mark Cereals

But trying to create a track that used my whole house got bored with the series issues. The further the cart switches, the more complex and leggy racing becomes.

The Wild Card, of course, was my-year-old, who, confused by the software, waited until he made a full course to start kicking on the door. My track got poorer, changing shape and glittering in and out.

But, aside from the technical issues, Mario Kart Live works. And that sounds amazing.

It licks you into the “middle of the world.” Sitting on your bed, staring at the switch screen, immersed in this, half-world believes. You’re a little guy, shrinking to the size of a 2-inch figurine, inside a cart at tremendous speed under your dining table. Crazy moments are happening all around you. Creatures driving explosions, banana peels, floating hover vehicles.

Then you can easily see, with the naked eye – the invention of the awakened Nintendo Switch from the parallel universe – looking at this painfully slow, plastic “Mario cart” inch like a lobotomized snail on the floor of your living room.

Sc Nascreen It looks like you’re going 200 miles per hour, but these little cart things are slow in real life. My kids definitely don’t mind it, who are power drunk and alternate between racing and using their own bodies to build the Gregantuan, Bridge.

Mario Kart Live taught me to see my world through a different, nightmarsh lens.

It’s probably the first video game that has allowed my 4 year olds to look at animals from the perspective of always trying to chase that lizard around a clumsy pet or a brooch.

In my world, my son is a small threat. Sure he would accidentally punch me in the nut, kick me in the nut or wake me up Standing On my nuts, but it’s small. A small animal.

But in the world of Mario Kart Live it’s a caiju, a real-life godzilla with the possibility of changing any race in an instant. Sometimes with awkwardly laid feet. Sometimes more deliberately. In the wayway, a cockling, a huge, sticky paw descending from the floor, he picked up the cart like a perverted god … and licked it in a nearby bathroom.

The way of the labs

Despite the thrill, I’m not 100% sure Mario Kart will stick live.

With labs, for example, my kids spent one morning making cardboard structures and messing with games. They never mentioned it again. Not once. To this day, it collects dust in our garage. The most expensive cardboard ever.

About an hour after setting up Mario Kart Live, my son made our iPad and loaded the goat simulator. Two minutes later, he asked if we could download Kick Buddy, a devout free-to-play game he had been obsessed with with his friends.

Will Mario Kart go like live labs?

It’s hard to say. This morning, my oldest asked me if he could play Mario Kart Live after school. It’s a sign, for me, that Mario Kart Live is more than a ride.

The wheel reminds me of a VR headset. It uses just enough to justify its existence but part of my weekly entertainment diet is rarely part of Netflix or other Nintendo Switch games. I imagine pulling it out when I visit nephews and nieces, but it’s hard to imagine keeping the interest going for weeks and months to come.

But so far, at least, Mario Kart Live has been a welcome distraction. For now, Windows is safe.