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You spend billions. You pay the best guys over RM1 million a week. Fire 55 low-paid workers, including the explorer who discovered many of them, and a much-loved pet, in order to pay for the high-paid stars.
Yes, I know, but that’s how the club explained it.
He uses sophisticated data for performance analysis, but his coach pinned his hopes on 2,000 fans spread across a stadium that has 60,000 to propel the team into a pointless Europa League match.
This is Arsenal, visiting the Spurs who head the table at midnight on Monday morning in Malaysia for the big game of the weekend. He’s great for Spurs, not Arsenal.
And the best ones? Well the top earner of all, Mesut Ozil, who makes £ 350,000 (RM1.9 million) a week, has been social distancing all season, having not played since March.
This despite being the most creative player in the club when the team cries out for creativity.
A politically intelligent and conscientious soul, the German has done more for the Uighurs this season than for the Gunners. And he even offered to pay the pet’s salary.
Fortunately, Gunnersaurus the dinosaur has returned from extinction, although the man inside operates on a rotational basis. To save cost.
As for the patron, Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang, it seems that he took Covid-19 especially seriously by opting for social distance in the field.
Since signing a new contract for around RM1 million a week, his goals have dried up and he has barely had a touch.
The only surprise is that he has not worn a mask on the field.
It’s easy to joke, but Arsenal seem dysfunctional and have had their worst start to the season in nearly 40 years.
Although it may be difficult for the large diaspora gooner to accept, it is the dreaded Gallo who is making all the noise this time.
They are ahead of Liverpool on goal difference and eight points above Arsenal, which languish in 14th place.
They hope to cancel Totteringham’s Saint’s Day for what would be a fifth consecutive year.
The mythical “saint’s day” occurs when the Gooners celebrate another season of superiority over the Spurs. It came as often as Christmas under Arsene Wenger.
What makes all of this especially difficult for Arsenal fans to take is that things seemed to be going well with Mikel Arteta.
After an impressive finish to last season, capped by FA Cup victory, Arsenal seemed to be finally working out their defense.
That’s a bit like saying that a teenager is sprucing up his bedroom.
But in Arteta, a former Arsenal player and most recently a disciple of Pep Guardiola, it finally seemed that the club had the right man to succeed the immortal Wenger.
Where there had been chaos under Unai Emery, there was order. Where there was a laissez-faire attitude, there was an iron determination.
Arteta, a studious Basque who was a cultured midfielder in his day, may have been a rookie, but he seemed to know what he was doing.
There were astute signings, Gabriel Magalhaes and Thomas Partey acquired without breaking the bank, while after much speculation, talisman and top scorer Aubameyang was convinced to stay.
Even Ozil’s ostracism was seen as a firm leadership blow. There would be no place for dilettantes.
And suddenly the progression of the Europa League champions to the top four contenders seemed possible.
But the exhaustion of goals and the exhaustion of opportunities has changed things. In the absence of Ozil, Arsenal have had trouble creating even a nose.
Strong defense has come at a price and Arsenal have the fourth lowest opportunity creation rate in the Premier League, while only relegation candidates Burnley, Sheffield United and West Brom have scored fewer goals.
Some even think they let the wrong doorman out. Veteran MP Emiliano Martínez seized his chance to excel when Bernd Leno was injured, but was sold to Aston Villa for just £ 20 million when the German goalkeeper was back in shape. Leno has had a few ‘moments’ since then.
For all that, the 2,000 fans who witnessed a 4-1 drive against a Rapid Vienna on Thursday night were in good spirits. Glad to be allowed to return, they made the most of the occasion and did what the manager had hoped.
But it was a game of little consequence since Arsenal had already qualified for the next stage. Still, Arteta will hope it will be a turning point and the Spurs, who also faced Austrian opponents, had to travel and were limited to a 3-3 draw.
José Mourinho suggested that the players were not motivated as they had also reserved their places in the next stage, but there is no doubt which of the two clubs was more uncomfortable.
Still, don’t think the Spurs won’t be prepared. It will be in its own cavernous stadium and with 2,000 of its own fans.
It may not be a show, Mourinho would park the bus at a charity match, but it may tell us a lot about the immediate future of the two North London rivals.
The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of FMT.
