Lauryn Hill’s daughter Selah details how her upbringing has traumatized her

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Selah Marley, the daughter of singer Lauryn Hill and entrepreneur Rohan Marley, sat down Monday for a two-hour Instagram Live, where she detailed her resurrection and the trauma she experienced as a result.

The conversation dragged the veil back on her relationships with her parents, including her thoughts about her absent father and how she had spankings under her mother’s hands, because of what she thought was unresolved anger. As the second oldest child of her union, she declares that she is angry, lost and traumatized because of what she witnessed.

She started chatting about her father Rohan, who is the son of music legend Bob Marley. Selah said much of her trauma is triggered when she fights with her friend Michael and now realizes that she was passed on certain traits from seeing her fleeting relationship with her parents.

‘I came to the conclusion of how much of my life I am – and up – and how much of me is f – d just because my father just wasn’t. And there’s just a void where a person should be. And it’s honestly really hard. It was so hard day in and day out. And I feel like this is common in the Black community – not even that I just feel like the things I did because of the trauma, like the deep trauma, ‘shared the 21-year-old model.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CDtmIU9gdwp/

She said she recently called her father and asked why he was absent, and following a call to her mother, asked her why her parents were not fighting harder for their relationship even though they had five children together.

“I was researching on google what it is like to have a father,” she said. Selah said she feels lost, realizing that her friend cannot fill her father’s void.

In turn, she feels she has developed a potentially split personality disorder and has unusual relationships due to her father’s absence. She says she has been to therapy “a million times” but also has problems with the therapeutic process.

When it comes to her mother, she said she is devastated when she thinks back to her mother’s absence because of her work commitments and the spankings she received from her mother.

“She would reach us uselessly,” Selah said. ‘She was just very angry. Dat, sa, sa, sa, sa, sa lulk. She was literally not easy to talk to and then half the time we did not live with her. I lived with my grandparents half the time … It’s crazy, I play this trauma back in my head when I talk to you. ‘She explained that her mother would order one of the children to get a belt and then hold both hands up so they hung,’ when she hit us. Literally, just like that. ‘

‘And then the threats, the constant threats … That beltman. That’s that slave s – t. That was some slavery s – t. All black parents were on that s – t, ”she continued.

She details how she struggles with accountability and realizes that she is now an adult and needs to take inventory of her actions and choices.

“There’s nothing going on,” she said.

‘Honest guys, I’m just hurt. I’m really hurt. I can not even move forward like I am not. And I have hurt, I think for so much of my life. And so much of my life is like – so much of my life has made me realize how much I really hurt just out of the circumstances, ‘she said.

‘I’m afraid to be like her. I’m afraid to be like that bro, ‘she continued.

She explained that because of her father’s absence, she finds it difficult to believe in God, and struggles with creating discipline and structure.

Selah posted a second video with a new code of commandments for herself, the first being, “never harm another soul”, and other beliefs she will imagine for herself as she heals.

Although it is painful to repeat the process of undoing your trauma, Selah seems resolved to understand how her upbringing affected her and the tasks she must take to undo her generation of trauma.