The decision my 50-year-old daughter regretted the most when her mother was sentenced to “10 days to live.” Should have heard this | PRESIDENT Online



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The care of parents and the care that many face. Rinko Torii, a writer who wrote “Ten things I want to say to people who are starting to care for their parents” (Diamond) based on her parents’ experience of caring, said: “A mother with dementia who was sentenced by a doctor to be 10 days old. While suffering from weakness in bed, he suffered a fierce conflict, perhaps because he was right when he finally decided not to prolong his life. “
Assistance for end-stage patients and their families

写真 = iStock.com / KatarzynaBialasiewicz

※ The photograph is an image

“My mother is no longer my mother and I can’t hold myself” Is care “imprisonment”?

Ten years ago when I took care of my father (79 years old) who had lung cancer at home, I honestly thought “do it!” The “destructive life of caring” for my mother, who is becoming physically disabled by the day, began with literally no questions asked.

I had no intention of taking care of my parents.

My parents are the oldest children and I am the youngest child with an older sister, and my parents have raised me to “get married and not cross the threshold of my parents’ house.”

I wrote the story in the two previous jobs, “Rinko Torii, if you don’t know how to take care of your parents, you will be full of stupid things” and “When you start taking care of your parents, you will cry for money” (both by Diamond), but at the In the end, my parents’ nursing life has exceeded 10 years.

Meanwhile, there is a storm of conflict. I didn’t want to take care of myself.

My mother contracted dementia on the way and was no longer the one I knew. My mother and I were overwhelmed by the days when we simply stared at such a figure, were irritated, or cried mercilessly.

Nursing not only proves that my mother “is not a mother”, but also seems to be “unable to hold” myself, and for the sake of mutual peace, I am just saying that this “imprisonment” ends early. I was waiting.

However, the mother on the medical examination is always a “healthy child” with no abnormalities in the internal organs. Every time the care manager says “I’m glad!” I am suffering from severe menopausal disorders.(※)I was very worried.

* A person who is supposed to die later will die first.

At the time, I had no concept of my mother dying. I seriously thought, “This person will not die.” But my mother died.

Nursing starts suddenly one day. To be precise, you are gradually shifting into a body that requires care, but it is easy for caregivers to feel “one day, suddenly” because they have pretended not to see it. The same goes for the “caretaker”. One day, I am forced to be a party.



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