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Rocco Casalino’s office at Palazzo Chigi is the size of a football field.
It was a beautiful whim.
The official showed him the room normally reserved for the prime minister’s spokesman. Rocco remained motionless for a moment (only his upper lip begins to tremble: it always happens when he is about to explode).
Then, stamping his feet, he shouted: Horror! a closet !.
The mortified official bowed his head. In the afternoon the expansion works began and now it will not be a question of boxes. You will need a moving company.
Rocco, walking in there, immediately perceived himself as great. it is useless trying to define their role: demiurge, spin doctor, gray eminence, undersecretary without having sworn constitution. Rocco was what he was allowed to be. By putting the figure of this former Big Brother competitor to the light – a 48-year-old gymnast always dressed in tight and short clothes, like a gorilla in a Brianza nightclub – we better understand how much what we have fallen into is not a government crisis, but a systemic crisis.
Of course, these have been wonderful years for political journalists. Rocco alludes, treats, woos, announces, reproaches, threatens, dramatizes and then, almost always, forgives. Sensitive and a bit mythomaniac (Returning from Brussels: For this blessed Recovery you have thanked everyone, from Conte to Gualtieri, and you have forgotten about me), fussy to the point of obsession, unbridled storyteller (Lele Mora, his former agent: He has talent, just a thread of gossip ).
Rocco hates Wikipedia. It generates a strange statement of forgetfulness. Instead, you click and your story comes back. Childhood in Germany, in Frankenthal. The working father, the committed mother, Apulian immigrants from Ceglie Messapica who break their backs to make him study. He graduated in Engineering in Bologna: but we don’t see each other on a construction site. Then he goes around a bit, until, in the year 2000, he manages to enter in the “House” of Canale 5, first edition of the reality show, millions of Italians morbidly glued to TV: resist segregation for 92 days with Pietro Taricone and Marina La Rosa (who, last summer, did him the courtesy of telling Cruciani & Parenzo: Rocco was very good licking my feet).
It turns into a cougar. Because in the meantime he talks to Trump and organizes dinners with Conte, Macron, Merkel: where, without hesitation, he sits at the head of the table. Then he gets up and, on his cell phone, decides the guests to the talk shows (Paper explained that there was a “Rocco Code”), in feared Rai, cancel newspaper interviews (I decide if Peppino speaks or not), via WhatsApp – as harshly as Father Casaleggio taught him – threatens the leaders of Mef: we throw them out.
Damn cell phone.
Don’t use it like that, Rocco.
You are too casual.
They told him: but nothing.
The Morandi bridge collapses in Genoa, the pillars in rubble still smoking, the count of dead and survivors, but he complains to journalists: Enough, don’t stress me out! Call like crazy. I also have the right to take a couple of days, since I have already skipped Ferragosto, Santo Stefano, San Rocco …
It was a “vocal”, there was audio: forced to apologize. A few days later the paparazzi still surprise him on the rocks with Jos Carlos Alvarez, his Cuban boyfriend. This Álvarez, a former waiter, lost his job, lives on subsidies, is reported for a day to the Anti-Money Laundering Office of the Bank of Italy: his bank registers suspicious movements of “significant” figures. Panic. Rocco screaming. Nervous breakdown. Then he tries to explain: Jos was playing in the bag, I didn’t know anything, a victim of gambling addiction.
Official version. Don’t argue. Like when he confessed to a hyena, in Italy1: Have you ever tried to put a Romanian to bed? If you give it ten showers, it still smells sweet and sour. Guys – Rocco explained then – but of course, he was acting. On the other hand, the Linkedin page in which he boasted a master’s degree in business administration from Shenandoah University in Virginia disappeared. (I never had a student with the last name Casalino, communicated from the USA).
Without teachers, but with natural talent for the show. Count by reading the Dpcm at night; the press conferences in which the cameras are forced – in a revolutionary liturgy – to frame the prime minister a little and Rocco a little; The General States of the Economy were organized in Villa Doria Pamphili with pomp and utter uselessness.
Politics, however, is different. Rocco, at a certain point, no longer understands anything. Write an autobiographical book.Augusto Minzolini, once again a shark, publishes an audio of his three days ago on Twitter. Love, there will be a Count Ter, don’t worry. The news begins to spread: Immediately after learning that Mario Draghi had accepted the position, the former spokesman for Conte began to pressure the 5-star troops, asking them not to vote for their confidence.
Rocco denies it.
Hysterical Rocco.
Rocco, courage, change. Come get out of that office.
February 4, 2021 (change February 4, 2021 | 07:34)
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