How to recognize violence? “When you start to control yourself in a relationship because you fear reactions, things are no longer going in the right direction”



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How is violence against women manifested in a relationship and how is it recognized? Ilfattoquotidiano.it, on the occasion of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women, interviewed Elsa antonioni, vice president of Bologna Women’s House (first anti-violence center in Italy). “Let’s say that if we talk about women who live in the Western world, who therefore have a series of references, sometimes violence is something that is recognized at the beginning because simply reduces the fields of action until then it erupts in real domestic violence “. So, in practice, Antonioni gave a series of examples: “If you realize that you start to reduce your friendships do not disturb and not have to mediate with him; if you start do not contact your family anymore because there has been a problem and you always have to mediate with it, if you are controlled, if you see that you control yourself precisely because you fear the control of the other and therefore the insults and undue claims … living in an atmosphere of anxiety and fear for whatever movement you make, it means that things are no longer going well and you are gradually adjusting.

On many occasions, women tend to underestimate what they are experiencing. Antonioni continues: “Many women come to us beginning with the phrase ‘I don’t know if this is the right place because what I suffer is not really violence’. Then it turns out that they once broke a rib ”. And they say: “I fell”, “I hit my head”. “He broke my finger.” “He pulled me.” They are episodes, even quite serious, but not so serious, but enough to intimidate. Finally, he concluded, “there is the situation of foreign women who arrive in Italy, perhaps through arranged marriages, and try to stay on paper, but they find themselves in an absolutely dramatic situation because they don’t even know the language and they don’t know who to ask for help ”.

In our words – Dreams, prejudices, ambitions, stereotypes, excellence: the universe told from the point of view of women. Not just for women.

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