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He often changed his mother’s clothes. Cagliari teacher reported for mistreatment. GM charged with “abuse in the family”; in the specific case against the 98-year-old mother (administered by a lawyer), minimum penalty: 3 years in prison. In the background there are contrasts, even with the brothers, related to the management of the elderly woman’s care. And now, also due to the delay in the judiciary, the professor runs the risk of never seeing his mother again.
It is the protagonist who tells the story: “On July 21, around 5 o’clock in the afternoon, I received a formal notice of guarantee with an attached order to leave the family home immediately and an absolute prohibition to approach the places frequented by the person mistreated.
I am amazed but I execute. I have two Carabinieri in front of me. To date, after a vain attempt to obtain the revocation of the precautionary measure, I have not seen, heard or heard from my mother for 60 days; with which, due to my celibate condition, I have never stopped living together, although I have my own house for some time ”.
The teacher is suing the lawyer who supports the old woman, with the support of the man’s sister and brother.
It all begins on April 17 of last year when the man dismisses the caregiver who had been assisting the parents for three years (until May 2018 both, then the father died, only the mother) because it is contrary to working methods of the woman. . The sister who had hired the foreign operator strongly disapproves and condemns it. After several attempts, a new caregiver arrives in June 2019, the old woman, according to the teacher, relates well to the new foreign assistant who joins the service together with another caregiver, an Italian; first only on weekends, then self-sufficiency has completely diminished, even at night.
But differences between the siblings persist and they turn to external administration (October 2019) and at the end of December a third caregiver is hired to guarantee 24-hour assistance to a person who needs night care. The costs start to rise; An adequate contribution from all three children is required. “I am invited”, adds the teacher, “not to interfere with assistance: it would interfere, in particular, with the work of the night caretaker (who is no longer Italian, but the newly hired one); there are too many clothes to change. For a while it goes on like this. Every now and then my mother has bouts of restless insomnia: of course I can’t sleep soundly. For the administrator, “I interfere” ”.
At the end of February he returns to the single resident caregiver, with a replacement on weekends. And the teacher is invited to leave the house. “The written invitation arrives to voluntarily leave the house since I would be a logistical obstacle (in a 200 m2 flat with two bathrooms) for the launch of the new assistance program”, writes the teacher, “between the lines – but not so much – It is suggested that the partner capable of the impossible will be the former caregiver who has moved away from me and remained firm in the thoughts of my sister. Of course I do not give in to the precautionary measure and the enormity that it contains and I seek assistance proper legal: after much uncertainty and several failed attempts, I find a lawyer. Every administrator stays with the path of the lawsuit. Meanwhile, the Italian caretaker for almost 5 years in our house has already been liquidated. Overnight , such an important emotional reference evaporates in the blink of an eye. Now it is the turn of the cohabiting child. He will have to appear guilty of abuse.
I scroll through the documentation “on my own”. The abuse? I understand curiosity. It is the most disturbing side. We came across amazing things like this: at night, I disturbed my mother’s sleep by intervening to force her change of clothes and thus would be the cause of her insomnia and agitation, and the consequent deterioration of her general state of health. You turn the page and see that the person whose sleep is “disturbed” is “complaining.” Fantastic. How it is possible to disturb the sleep of someone who complains is a matter that we must turn to neurologists. The common man has already solved it: if you sleep you don’t complain; and if he complains … Turning to philosophical abstraction, one could conclude that it is impossible to disturb something that is not there.
In fact, at that time my mother was awake and had been complaining for a long time: when – as in most cases – I heard the usual noises that accompanied the exchange operation from my room, I was calm and well; When the moaning continued, I respectfully stepped in and asked for the change. “She interferes”, “She breaks in.”
I haven’t seen my mother in 60 days. Suddenly uprooted from her life. Only me, the cohabiting son, with whom verbal contact and bodily affection were greater. Tearing
Sometimes the sidereal distance between the mechanisms of justice and the common and normal perception of good and evil is surprising; the total dissonance between forms and procedures and the immediacy with which common sense knows, at times, to understand where the true is and where the false is.
Preliminary investigations are pending. At this point, given the times of justice and my mother’s age (98), it is not impossible that I no longer see her alive. I hope it doesn’t happen, but I can’t rule out that this is the end of the story. As for the legislation on support administration, it will also be the case that someone gives it a touch ”.
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