“Here we go again,” was my first thought after the government’s announcement of the third shutdown. Rationally, I understood that it was necessary for us to reduce coronavirus infection and mortality rates. However, emotionally I felt challenged.
TO FLOURISH
T – Tame anxious thoughts;
H – Head outside;
R – Relax;
me – Initiate a quality interaction;
V – Turns towards others;
me – Express gratitude.
Tame anxious thoughts
During the previous shutdown, I experienced some anxiety associated with fear of contracting the virus, changing financial circumstances, and the pressures associated with juggling my work and family life. This time, I plan to notice my anxious thoughts before they get out of control. I’ll do it first by noticing the warning signs, which are the phrases I use that precede my anxiety states.
Once I catch them, I will challenge my thoughts and make them more useful. For example, when I push myself by saying “I should do this now,” I will stop and challenge my thoughts by saying, “Who says?” and then rephrasing them: “I don’t need to do it now, I can do it later,” which will hopefully ease the pressure.
Head outside
In Ireland, research I conducted with a colleague, Dr. Majella Dempsey, showed that we have exercised more during the run than ever before. As such, my daily walking has become a big part of my routine, which has not only helped me feel more invigorated, but has also resulted in weight loss.
I intend to do the same during this lockdown, and am now considering improving my game by starting running and maybe even preparing for a mini-marathon. Regardless of what you do, the most important thing is to get out and enjoy nature.
Relax
As the mom of a two year old, I found the above locks a real challenge in relation to finding some time for myself. For months, my life revolved around caring for my little boy, working through guilt during the day, and catching up on projects while my son slept. I didn’t have time to relax, I didn’t have time for myself.
During this lockdown, I hope to be wiser and make better decisions. Having some time for myself is important, not only for my well-being, but also for that of my family, who suffer the consequences of being too stressed. With this in mind, I plan to dedicate at least 30 minutes of each day during which I will relax. My relaxation can include sitting and doing nothing, reading a book, mindfulness, or doing some wellness activities that I share on my website (jolantaburke.com).
Initiate quality interactions
During the previous crashes, my husband and I were operating in emergency mode, doing team parenting. This was exhausting for both of us and left little time for us to connect in any meaningful way.
This time I intend to initiate quality interactions with my partner by making sure we spend an additional 15 minutes each day getting closer to each other. This could be an additional five minutes of talk to discuss what we plan to do that day, how our day was, hug and kiss him, or congratulate him on accomplishing something important to him.
These extra minutes have the power to improve the quality of our relationship amid the chaos of the confinement.
Veers towards others
One of the best ways to improve well-being is to redirect our attention to others. Recent surveys in Ireland found that the pandemic made us kinder and more compassionate to our neighbors, family and friends, which also improves our well-being. That is why I intend to participate in more random and not so random acts of kindness to help me prosper.
express gratitude
Practicing gratitude is a protection mechanism against impotence and negative mood. During this confinement, I intend to reflect on www (which went well) during the day, and I count my blessings for the little good things that happen every day. This will allow me a more balanced view of reality than simply looking at the negative side of the blockade. After all, our life is what we choose to pay attention to and, as bad as the confinement is, it is also an opportunity to prosper.
Dr. Jolanta Burke is a Chartered Psychologist specializing in Positive Psychology and an Assistant Professor at Maynooth University.