Dhoni had skipped the birth of her daughter to compete in the World Cup in Australia, saying: “I’m on national duties so I think everything else can wait.”
Five years later, the same dilemma faces another Indian cricket captain. Only this time Virat Kohli has put his family before his profession.
“It is a very, very special and very, very beautiful moment in our lives and something that I really want to experience,” said the Indian captain. Kohli said his decision was influenced by the fact that he would have to be quarantined in both countries, meaning that if his son were born while he was abroad, he would not be able to immediately fly home and be with his family.
Kohli’s decision to put his family above cricket drew mixed reactions.
Rajdeep Sardesai, author of “Democracy’s XI – The Great Indian Cricket Story”, believes that Kohli’s decision could set a precedent for men across India who want to take paternity leave.
“It encourages others who might otherwise have thought twice or might be limited by the social environment in which they live, to break free,” he says.
Where is India on parental leave?
But, while central government employees are entitled to 15 days of paternity leave, there is no national law that requires leave for new parents.
Simantini Ghosh, an assistant professor of psychology at India’s Ashoka University, says that to promote gender equality, it is essential that men participate in housework and parenting. She says that paternity leave benefits not only couples, but also children. “The child grows up in a more egalitarian and egalitarian family … they have a greater chance of becoming adults with a much fairer understanding of gender justice and equality in relationships,” he says.
“The absence of paternity leave implies that childcare is the sole responsibility of the mother. A paternity leave policy can help increase attitudinal changes and eliminate gender role distinctions,” Satav wrote in the proposed bill.
The bill did not advance in parliament, although a senior Labor Ministry official said the possibility of extending paternity leave to other sectors in the near future could not be ruled out.
Why India needs a paternity law
Sociologist Shiv Visvanathan says Kohli is trying to change that message. “A change is needed in the way we view family. Modern men need exemplars and Kohli’s decision will make people see in this the great possibility of a social revolution,” says Shiv.
Karn Bawari, who works for a leading company in Mumbai, will take the 14 days of paternity allowance offered by his company when his wife has their second baby in March. But the 34-year-old would like to take more time. “Modern fatherhood requires longer paternity leave. It is not just the mother’s job to raise a child,” he says.
“Kohli’s decision to take paternity leave should be a revelation to many.”
But not everyone feels this way.
Prayag Mohanty, 36, has lived in Bengaluru, India’s IT hub, with his wife for more than two years.
In the venture capital fund, where he is a senior vice president, new parents can take 7 to 14 days of paternity leave.
While the couple has yet to decide whether to have a baby, Mohanty says that when the time comes, they will need no more than the company’s mandated parental leave. “My parents live in the same city and can help with the care,” she says.
He believes that Kohli should have followed in the footsteps of his former captain. “Dhoni did not see her newborn for more than two months since she was on national service,” says Mohanty.
The right man for the message
If there was anyone who could speak to the Indian masses in a persuasive way, perhaps it is Kohli – a beloved cricketer, adored by young Indians in particular, who long ago demonstrated his dedication to the nation.
In 2007, Kohli’s father died while the cricketer was playing for Delhi in the Ranji Trophy, India’s most prestigious competition, contested between teams representing regional and state cricket associations.
Despite the great personal loss, Kohli decided to resume his game at the stadium the next morning. Kohli left the stadium for the crematorium to attend the last rites of his father, the man who had always supported his dream of being a cricket player.
Ghosh says Kohli has conveyed a very subtle but important message, which generally has a “tough guy” image.
In short, he says, “Trying to be an involved and practical father does not emasculate a man.”
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