Dear Abby: My husband’s sister is obese obese, and we are very concerned about her health. We know its weight is a delicate subject, but if it had sunk into the pond instead of fat, we would have tried to throw it the same kind of lifeline.
We feel compelled to express our concern about her health. We know how to approach this can make a big difference.
We think she will benefit from seeing a counselor to deal with life’s issues, which can make her feel overwhelmed. Can you please suggest a way to phrase it? We love her and wish her a long and healthy life.
Scared for sister-in-law
Dear Fear: Your sister-in-law is well aware that she is dangerously heavy, so this is a topic that you can only address once without bringing up a family discord. If the message came from her brother it would be better accepted, and she should draw something like this:
“I hope you know how much I love you. My wife and I are deeply concerned about your weight because we are afraid we may lose you. If there are issues that are due to this, would you consider talking to a counselor about them?
“If your doctor can’t refer you to a qualified person, we can name a few. And if what I have said is painful, I sincerely apologize and hope that you will forgive me. I will not bring up this topic again. ”
Dear Abby: My older sister, “Olive” moved to the West Coast three years ago. My parents, my two older siblings and I live on the East Coast.
Over the past year, Olive has grown increasingly distant from us. She always has an excuse when we try to set a group facetime or a phone set. This has happened dozens of times now.
Recently, our extended family set up a zoom call with about 30 of us. Everyone was able to make at least a part of it, including all my cousins and aunts and uncles. Olive, however, said she would be “next time” because she needed to get a little wet around her house and she wanted to start limiting her screen time.
My parents, siblings and I have all spoken directly to him about how blowing us up hurts and hurts, even though he continues to do so. This time, everyone is bored, especially mom, who stopped twice while trying to solve these problems with Olive. What else can we do? We don’t seem to go through.
Fed-UP brother
Dear brother: Do you know why your sister went to the west coast? Is it related to the job, or could it be that she needs a location and if she lived geographically close, she wouldn’t be able to feel it? Because its withdrawals have been increasingly increasing over the past year, it’s important for someone to understand what drives it.
Any relative other than your mother (who has been trapped twice) who is close to Olive should call her and as politely as possible explain to the family that she is concerned and ask if anything is wrong. You can help She may be having an emotionally difficult time or she may be craving a little space. But you don’t know until someone gets a direct answer.
Written by the beloved Abby Abigail van Buren, also known as Ginny Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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