How did you start admitting people to sing “Live Your Life” every day?
I thought, if anything wakes him up, the whole world will sing his song. He always wanted to be a rock star, and we’re going to make him a rock star. And then it caught like wildfire.
You and your sister started T-shirt line Together, and now you are going to collaborate on a book?
Yes, I am writing a memoir about this time, and I am writing it with my sister Anna Clots. It’s about everything I’ve gone through, and about positivity and confidence and resilience. I started writing with my mom-dad when I was in Ohio, right after Nick passed away. I have found it to be incredibly therapeutic.
Religion also seems to be an important part of the way you are going.
I grew up in Lutheran, and I’ve been very religious all my life. I’m nondominational right now, but I’ve always prayed, I’ve always felt comfortable going to church, and I don’t know how I can go through without my faith and prayer.
You talk about accepting God’s will, but it’s hard now.
That’s tough. You know, to say, “Everything happens for a reason,” and you’re like, “Really?” Like, “Why? Why Nick?” But often at the hospital, or on the phone call when I was talking to the doctors, and they told me that Nick wouldn’t make it – they would tell me he had an hour or two left. Is alive.and I will pray very hard because of how I could help.And he lives and he will fight and he will hold on.
But at one point in time, I was praying and I said, “God, your wish has come true. I will never understand if you take it. But it’s not my wish, it’s your wish. He helped me in the hospital, and he helps me today. It’s not that the hospital didn’t do enough. It’s not that I didn’t do enough. That is the will of God.
I know you’ve heard this many times, but it’s amazing how positive it feels to you.
I can’t live in the hole of my life right now, because I have a cute little boy who depends on me. And on top of that, that’s what Nick Mare does. There are parts of every day that make me sad, and there are parts of every day where I cry. But I also have to find a few things all day that make me happy, or else I know I can’t survive.
