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(Photo by Stu Forster / Getty Images)
Nigel Owens He says that refereeing the 2015 Rugby World Cup final was the pinnacle of his professional career, but that his most gratifying moment was being told that he had helped save the life of a teenager.
The Welshman looks forward to a quieter life away from the international spotlight as a farmer with his 40 Hereford cows after his 100th and final Test.
Last month’s France-Italy match at the Fall Nations Cup was the end of a remarkable chapter in the life of the 49-year-old, who refereed his first international match in 2003.
Owens, who revealed he was gay more than a decade ago, was dying on a Welsh mountainside in 1997, having taken a mix of alcohol and pills while struggling to come to terms with his sexuality.
He told AFP it would have been too late if they had found him half an hour later.
Owens’s outspokenness about his sexuality (he came out in 2007 despite working in the macho world of rugby) encouraged a boy to tell his parents that he was gay.
The mother wrote to the referee thanking him for saving her son’s life – he had attempted suicide while struggling with whether his parents would accept that he was gay.
“The most rewarding moment is saving someone’s life,” Owens said.
“Saving someone’s child is very rewarding, much more than refereeing any RWC (Rugby World Cup) final.
“I think by talking about it (the inner struggle), it helps people and saves lives.”
Owens knew how much his own suicide attempt had affected his parents – they told him they couldn’t have gone on living without him.
He said it was important to look ahead but not banish the past.
“Looking back is important as it shaped who you are today, the good things you learned and the things you didn’t do well,” he said.
“There is nothing wrong with reflecting on how lucky one has been to get out of that situation alive.”
Owens said LGBT rights were not an area she chose to focus on all the time, despite her personal experience.
“I do it when they ask me to talk about mental health,” he said. “Normal communications after dinner, I don’t touch it.
“I’m not going to shout it to the heights because I think that makes it difficult to progress in equality.”
The veteran referee said society was a more tolerant place than “30-40” years ago, but coming out could still be difficult.
“In a sense, it’s easier, but it’s a very individual thing to come to terms with your own sexuality,” he said.
“People have a hard time understanding why more gay people don’t come out, but the answer is that they are fighting for who they are, like me.
“There is a lot of work being done to make sport a safer and more inclusive place and I think rugby has led the way.”
Of course, there are lighter moments in Owens’ long career as a referee.
Remember a game of children under 12 between Cwmbran and Pencoed.
“Ah, it remains in my memory, the children’s faces when I appeared,” he said. “He had been on television the night before refereeing a professional game.
“The children were speechless when they saw me and one said ‘I hope you are going to referee better than last night.’
Owens is happy to turn his attention to farming in South Wales, although he will continue to coach Pro14 matches until the end of the season.
“I always wanted to be a farmer,” said Owens, who has named his herd Mairwen after his late mother.
“It was my first dream when I was a kid,” he said. “It takes a lot of money to set up a farm and therefore it took time to do it.
“It’s great to have fulfilled a dream.”
As for whether handling cows is more challenging than rugby players?
“Not so different,” he chuckled. “You tell them where to go and the cows like the players do.
“However, even if the cows don’t respond, they are a little more stubborn.”
