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How do you find love when you’re trapped at home? The coronavirus pandemic has made that challenge, to say the least. But millions of single Americans are finding ways.
Some have tried socially estranged dating, others have turned to steaming video chats, while others have tried international online dating as people adapt the art of seduction to the virus age, and dating apps are finding ways to adapt.
In normal times, Kate Earle, a 30-year-old teacher in Washington, finds it easy enough to connect in person with men who at first glance appeal to Tinder.
“But since that is not an option, the talks last much longer,” he said.
Earle said those conversations also seem to be heading more often toward “online sexual interaction,” but added that he has never considered breaking the blocking rules for an in-person date.
“I think everyone is a little bit frustrated sexually, and so am I,” he said.
“And there has definitely been a temptation to meet someone … but I think it’s not so much that I really would.”
More expensive
The Great Lockdown has brought singles from around the world to online dating apps in record numbers.
Tinder experienced a record high in usage on March 29, with more than three billion “hits,” and the number of messages exchanged on rival app Bumble increased 26 percent over a two-week period in March in the United States.
The closing order came at the worst possible time for Beatrice, who was recently separated from her husband and lived in the United States capital.
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A thirty-something-year-old French woman registered with various online dating apps in mid-March.
Since then, he found himself folding some of the confinement rules to improvise outings with his new acquaintances.
“I was a little nervous,” she told AFP. “It’s hard to walk around with a mask on your face when you meet someone for the first time. So you end up removing the mask after five minutes.”
After some disappointing outings during which he observed the rules of physical separation, he met someone he liked “and we ended up not respecting social distancing,” he admitted.
‘The cherry on top’
In the new normal created by the virus crisis, video dating is fast becoming the norm. While Tinder lacks this option, both Hinge and Bumble offer virtual dating.
Zach Schleien launched his Filter Off app for speedy video dating right before the pandemic occurred, and at first only a few thousand users signed up. But that changed quickly.
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“It’s like a 7,000% increase in less than a month,” said the 29-year-old New Yorker, who believes online dating is the best way to assess potential romantic interest before meeting in person. “It was crazy.”
So can a romantic candlelight dinner with a stranger, on a laptop screen, really work?
Dating coach Bela Gandhi cited the example of a client, a woman in her 60s, “who fell in love with someone in the past six weeks and who only met on Skype.”
Emotional intimacy
Gandhi, who founded the Smart Dating Academy website, says the video can facilitate the development of “emotional intimacy.”
“And then it’s just the icing on the ice cream once you meet in person.”
But Alexandra Solomon, a clinical psychologist at Northwestern University faculty outside Chicago, doesn’t see it that way.
“Thank goodness we have video dating for now,” he said, but added: “When we get out of this, I really want people to come back over to the other side of the table with a glass of wine or a cup of tea and drink that outdated organic experience of each other. ”
Meanwhile, for those interested in exploring possible matches abroad, Tinder will maintain its Free Passport function until Monday.
After that, “the parties will remain, so no one has to say goodbye to anyone new they have met,” said a Tinder spokesperson.
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